Leap Year Page #3

Oh! Right.

Right!

Beryl, will you ring

Dublin International Airport

and get them

to open a runway especially for madam?

Right away.

We regret to announce that

all commercial passenger ferries to Ireland

have been canceled.

Will all passengers

booked for the crossing to Ringaskiddy

please report to

the information desk?

Hi. I'd like a ticket

to Cork, please.

Ferry's canceled.

What is wrong

with this country?

l usually blame

the government,

but this one's

the weather. Storm, see?

Well, we'll just

see about that. I'll find my own boat.

We're going

to have to go in to Dingle.

But l paid for Cork!

Okay. Dingle will do.

You can take the man

out of the fish,

but you can't take

the fish out of the water!

That a good one,

Dekko?

Hello.

Are you open?

Australian.

South African.

Actually, she's American.

Anna, from Boston.

l just need someone

to tell me how to get to Dublin from here.

Is there a bus, maybe?

I'm sorry?

The year

the last Dublin bus left Dingle.

No, no, no. The train

stopped running in '87.

The bus stopped

running in 1989.

It was 1987.

Okay.

Is there a taxi service

or something?

Perfect. Thank you.

My battery's going

to die any second.

Ma'am.

Oh, thank you.

Hello there.

Hello.

Hello?

Hello. Yes, l need

a taxi to Dublin.

Yeah, where you

calling from?

I'm in a funny little pub

called the Carack or, l don't know, Caragh?

Carahg?

Whatever.

We don't drive

American redheads.

What do you mean

you don't drive American redheads?

How do you know

the color of my hair?

Of course.

You're the taxi driver. Well, l need you...

l need you

to drive me to Dublin.

Dublin, is it?

Mmm.

Well, I'll tell you

something about Dublin, Anna from Boston.

Dublin is a city

of chancers and cheats and backstabbing snakes.

It's where the worst

of humanity collects to poison this fair country.

l wouldn't drive you

to Dublin if you were to offer me 500.

Jesus! I'd sell

me wife for 500!

Trust me,

you'd have few takers.

All right.

Anyone else want to go to Dublin for 500?

I'm your man, missus!

It's bad luck

to start a journey on a Friday.

Saturday. It's bad luck

to start a journey on a Saturday.

Tuesday!

No, it's Sunday,

to be sure.

Fine. It's late.

I'll just find

somebody to drive me in the morning.

So, if one of you

can direct me to the nearest hotel?

Or bed and breakfast?

Of course. Of course.

This is also the hotel.

Bathroom's down the hall.

You have to flush it twice. Seriously, twice.

Just like

the Four Seasons.

Okay.

l noticed a menu

on the bar?

It's closed.

Closed.

But given the famous

Irish tradition

of hospitality

and generosity...

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