LBJ
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Bob Walker
speaking from Dallas Love Field...
...where a large crowd has gathered
to await the appearance...
...of President and Mrs.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy...
...who have arrived from
Carswell Air Force Base in Fort Worth.
Lyndon, stop looking at that. Honestly.
Mr. Vice President,
we'll be in the third car, the gray Lincoln.
What's the word on Yarborough?
The president told the senator
he rides with you...
...or he could walk through downtown Dallas.
Oh, isn't that sweet? Thank you, honey.
- Yes. Yes, it is the first lady.
- Jackie!
The youthful Mrs. Kennedy
looking beautiful in her pillbox hat...
...and matching pink outfit.
Mrs. Kennedy is followed by the president...
- Hello. You look lovely.
- ... of the United States.
Thank you so much.
- Hi, Jackie.
- Hi, Lady Bird. It's good to see you.
- Mr. President.
- Lyndon.
- How are you?
- Good.
Mrs. Johnson. Lovely as always.
- Lyndon.
- Hi, Nellie.
Followed by Texas Senator Ralph Yarborough.
Good morning to you.
This will be your vehicle, Mr. President.
The crowd is jockeying
for a better look at the president.
Wait, no. The president has
walked past the motorcade...
...and he's making his way towards the crowd.
- How are you?
- Hello.
- Thank you.
- Some have cameras...
- ... to capture this historic moment.
- Thank you.
- Thank you. Thank you very much.
- Real pleasure.
They didn't expect to be shaking hands
with the president of the United States.
This is quite a thrill for the people
who have waited here all morning.
And once the motorcade departs,
it will head through the city...
...where crowds are waiting for a view
of their president and his wife.
- Thank you.
- Thousands will be on hand...
...for that motorcade, which
will move through downtown Dallas.
Don't you just love Texas?
Is there anywhere else you'd rather be?
This is regarding the Farm Bill.
We wanna vote in less than an hour.
Get back to the leader.
Tell him people are still undecided.
We wanna push this through
in the next half hour.
Because I'm not General Custer,
and this ain't Little f***ing Bighorn.
So if you have any objections...
...tell me now before I head to the floor
We got Cannon. Senator Yarborough.
- I'll be right with you.
- Senator Mansfield, sir.
- Mike. What's the number?
- About 48.
"About 48" is not a number.
Closest approximation I could get.
Mike, I want you to imagine...
...putting your little 2-inch pecker
on the edge of this table.
Now, I grab a hatchet, and I tell you...
...that I'm gonna swing it down
about 2 inches from the edge.
- Would you be nervous?
- Mm-hm.
Well, that's how I feel when you tell me
that the count is "about 48."
Now, what good is a whip
that doesn't know how to count?
Go back out there
and get me an actual number!
Juanita, dear?
- Yes, sir?
- Call Dirksen's office...
...and tell him I'd like to speak
to the senator at his earliest convenience.
- Yes, sir.
- George, get my tailor on the phone.
Who is Mike Taylor?
Who...? No, not "Mike Taylor." My tailor.
The guy who makes my f***ing clothes.
Get him on the phone now.
- Senator Yarborough.
- Mr. Leader...
- ...I still don't take a drink.
- No?
Now if you've called me in here to ask me
about my vote on the Farm Bill...
...I should tell you I have not changed
my position in the slightest.
No problem. No problem at all.
But, listen, while I got you here,
there is one question...
...I've been meaning to ask you.
Have you got sh*t for brains?
What the hell is your problem
with this Farm Bill?
We should be doing a heck of a lot more
for the people who have less.
The only thing more irritating
than a liberal is a liberal from Texas.
The senator is here.
- Bring him in.
- What my constituents want is...
Your constituents are my constituents...
...and just because after three failed
attempts at the governor's mansion...
...you finally managed to win an election...
...hardly makes you an expert
on Texas voters.
- Sir?
- Don't tell me what they want.
Senator Dirksen is on the phone.
I've got your tailor as well.
You realize that Juanita managed to get
the minority leader of the Senate...
...quicker than you could locate
a man who sews for a living?
Hello, Everett, this is Lyndon.
We wanna bring this thing to the floor,
but can we do it without our two parties...
...nipping at each other
like a pack of rabid dogs?
Uh-huh.
Well, much appreciated, as always, senator.
- Juanita?
- Yes, sir?
Send Dirksen a box of Havanas.
Walter, get ready to move on it.
You know, this could be your lucky day.
You might be able to vote
your conscience on the Farm Bill.
I like to think that is the only way
that I ever vote.
Spoken like a true one-term senator.
Means why haven't you
endorsed me for president?
You haven't announced.
Beside the point.
- I like to hope that...
- You like Kennedy.
Senator Kennedy and I,
we share many principles.
You know, you got your show horses
and your workhorses.
Now, Kennedy's a show horse:
Easy on the eyes...
...but when you need your field plowed,
he won't leave the barn.
I hear you, but what is most important...
- ...to me...
- Hold that thought.
Hello there, this is Lyndon Johnson.
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