Last Ride Page #3

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My great-grandmother,

she was a full-blood.

Yeah, course you are.

You must have been born

in the middle of the day. See?

You got that fair skin

and blue eyes.

I was born

in the middle of the night,

so I've got brown skin

and brown eyes.

Koori rulz. The only bet

is on black.

Hey! You really are a blackfella!

Anyone home?

Anyone home?

I'll sleep well tonight.

Hey.

This bloke went to a fancy dress party

with a woman on his shoulders.

And, uh, the people

at the party said,

"Well, what have you come as?"

And he says,

"Oh, I've come as a tortoise".

And they said, "Well, why have you

got a woman on your shoulders?"

And he said, "Oh, that's Michelle".

Why is that funny?

Michelle, mate. Michelle.

Michelle... my shell. Get it?

Why won't a cannibal eat a clown?

Dunno.

'Cause he thinks it tastes funny.

Hey, where would you find

a dog with no legs?

I don't know.

Where you f***in' left him.

Oh. Hang on.

Come on!

Oh! Good-lookin' bastard, eh?

- You just press that button there.

- Press that. Righto.

- And then press OK.

- Right. Get back.

Are you ready?

F***.

- Who's that ugly sh*t?

- Hey!

- Do you want a look?

- OK.

Hey, do you see those six

bright stars up there, all together?

Mm.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Well, the blackfellas reckon

there uused to be seven of them.

They were called the Seven Sisters.

What happened to the other sister?

Uh, well, she came down to earth.

Like an alien.

No, mate. No.

Um, she was more like a mother.

Well, that's what

the blackfellas reckon anyway.

How come my mum left me?

I dunno.

Did you hit her too?

Nah, that wasn't the reason.

I dunno, some women just aren't

meant to be mothers, I s'pose.

Sheep don't leave their lambs.

Well, sometimes they do.

No, they don't.

Ah, shut up and go to sleep,

you little bum.

I'm not a bum.

No, you're the underpants.

# I heard

it also rained in Tallahassee

# But not a drop fell

on little old me

# 'Cause I was in shu-shu-shu

# Shu-shu-shu

# Shu-shu-shu-shu-shu-shu

# Sugar Town

# If I had a million dollars or ten

# I'd give it to you, world,

and then

# You'd go away

and let me spend my life

# In shu-shu-shu

# Shu-shu-shu

# Shu-shu-shu-shu-shu-shu

Sugar Town. #

What the f***?

What you doin'? Hey?

- Ugh!

- What's all this?

Aaagh! Aaagh! Aaagh!

Aaagh! Aaaagh!

Get that sh*t off!

Don't you f***in' kick me!

Aaagh! Aaagh!

F***in' little girl!

Aaagh! Aaagh! Ow!

Aaagh! Aaagh!

Go and wash that f***in' sh*t

off your face!

Give us a look.

Oh, there's some cauliflowers.

Winner! And the crowd goes wild.

You didn't do much of a job

washing your face.

You still look like a girl.

You want some breakfast?

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