Last Man Standing

Synopsis: Mike Baxter is the marketing director for an iconic outdoor sporting goods store. He loves to have adventures while he's traveling for work and, of course, he drives a pick-up truck. While Mike is king of the hill at work, he's the odd man out in a home that is dominated by women -- namely his wife, Vanessa, and their three daughters, 20- year-old Kristin, 17-year-old Mandy and 13-year-old Eve. After being a stay-at-home mom for years, Vanessa recently returned to the workplace and was quickly promoted (much to the dismay of her primarily male co-workers). As a result of Vanessa's increased work load, Mike is pulled into more hands-on parenting than ever before.
Genre: Comedy
  Nominated for 2 Primetime Emmys. Another 5 wins & 6 nominations.
30 min

That's definitely our girl.

We found her.

She's at the


Go, go, go.

Clear left.

Clear right.

- One up.

- Two up.

- Three clear.

- Room clear.

Put your gun on the counter.

- Clear left.

- Clear right.

Right. Call your boss.


Watch your right!

We got her!

Hold, hold, hold, hold.

Back off.

Back off!

No more throwing

your magic wand, princess.

I was just putting

a spell on that house...

for not having its lights on.

Yes, while that might

make purr-fect sense,

Mommy just doesn't

want to have to...

climb through

the bushes again

But Daddy says cats love...

climbing through bushes.

I'll climb in the bushes.

No, you won't,

'Mean' Joe Greene.

Now, which one of you

witches, goblins,

midgets, and ghouls

can tell me...

why penguins waddle?

Is that Nick?

Yes, that would

be my husband.

Because their legs are set

very far back on their body.

That's not that interesting,

though, huh?

I guess you guys want

some candy around now?

Okay, hold on.

Here we go, kids. Ready?

Open your bags.

Here we go.

All right.

You guys be good.

And stay out of politics.

All right,

my little linebacker.

Time for us to go home.

We have a long walk

all the way across the street.

Good night, Char.

See you tomorrow, Abby.

Nice costume, Nick.

What costume, Charlotte?

Hi, Daddy.

Hi, honey.

Look at all my candy!

Wow, you're gonna be up for,

like, days, huh?

Come on.

Let's go inside, guys.

So, then the princess

turned into a dragon...

that could breathe fire.

A princess

turned into a dragon?

Yeah, that's my part

of the story, Mommy.

Tomorrow night,

we can change it back.

But tonight,

the princess is a dragon.

So, then you know

what happened?

The next thing

that happened...

Will you tell me a story?


There once was

a handsome prince...

I like it already.

...Who was madly in love...

with a beautiful,

dark-haired knight.


You know, it was

a very progressive realm.


The knight was a woman.

Come on, Turbo!

Okay, Mommy, I'm ready!

Okay, good!

Come on.

Okay. All right.

Have a good day.

Have fun.

Haley, don't run.

She's all right.

Brian's out of town

for three weeks.

So you know what they say

when the cat's away?

The mouse misses him.


Why don't you come

over this weekend?

Board games, barbecue.

I thought you'd never ask.

- Hey, honey.

- Help!

Our computers are down, honey.

We're dead in the water.

Well, did you try to reboot?

I won't even touch that thing.

Okay. Do you want me

to come by?

Yeah. Would you, please?

All right.

I'll be right there.

You see this?

Now, this microchip

goes under Gatsby's fur.

So if he ever runs away again,

we can find him right away.

Now, the number on the side

here is his tracking number.

I'm gonna type this number

into our computer...

so we can see where

Gatsby is at all times.

And he'll never

get lost again?

Never again.


Okay. It's a deal,

then, right?

So, I'll see you and

Gatsby on Thursday.

All right.

All right, pal.

Thank you.

My savior.

Hey, baby.


Come on.

So I got this blue screen,

and then every computer in the

place just froze up, honey.

Oh, that's not good.


But my computer-genius wife

can fix it, right?

How did we ever function

before computers?

Remember the pencil?

Suddenly, I feel

so completely inept.

You should never feel inept.

You're the most

'ept' man I know.

Is 'ept' a word?

Are we gonna finish fixing

my computer or what?

I already fixed it.

That fast, huh?

Why the military ever let

a tech whiz like you go,

I'll never know.

I love you.

I love you, too, honey.

What's it called again?

A microchip.

And it doesn't hurt

when you put it in a cat?

Not a bit.

And we can find them

if they get lost.

Is that me or you, honey?

That's me.


Abby? It's Davis.


Wow. It's been a long time.

Look, Sam Pratt died.

What? How?

That's the rough part.


You there?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm still here.

Funeral's the day

after tomorrow,

Lakeside Cemetery.

Thanks for letting me know.

I'll see you if I see you.

What is it?

You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I guess I better eat

my ice cream. Come on.

And then the dragon

turned back into a princess...

and went back to the castle.

Sweet dreams, angel.

Hey, you want to see my son?

Your son?

But, Sam, I thought your

wife wasn't due till April.

That's my boy.

I thought you were

gonna wait to find out.


I told Pauline I want to know,

you know, just in case.

Well, you know what?

He looks like you.

LM-13, LM-13.

Mongoose is a go.

I repeat, Mongoose is a go

Mongoose is a go.

Yo! We've got our orders,

Jeremy. Follow us.

Copy that. Go! Go! Go!

Who called earlier, babe?

His name is Jeremy Davis.

He was one of

the guys in my unit.

He called to tell me

someone died.

Well, who was it?

A member of our unit

Samuel Pratt.

I'm sorry, babe.

There were only

three of us in the unit,

so we got close.

He was killed in Afghanistan?


He was home.

He committed suicide.

Why? Any idea why?


Jeremy wants me

to go to the funeral,

day after tomorrow.

You should go.

You ever gonna tell me what

happened back then, honey?

It's nothing we need

to talk about.

Maybe it is.

Good night, baby.

We come here today to...

honor the life

of Samuel Pratt,

soldier, husband,

father, friend.

Samuel was all these things

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Jack Burditt

Jack Burditt is an American producer and screenwriter who has worked on television shows like Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Frasier, 30 Rock, and The Mindy Project. He won two Emmy awards for his work on Frasier and three as an Executive Producer on 30 Rock. more…

All Jack Burditt scripts | Jack Burditt Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Last Man Standing" STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 16 Jun 2024. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Last Man Standing


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.