Last Holiday Page #4

- Wonder what he is.

- How about secret service?

How about working that lift?

I say. Mrs. Poole.

Yes, Mr. Bird?

Something wrong with your room?

Oh, no. It's very nice, thank you.

It's, um -

It's posh, isn't it? In fact,

it's the poshest you've been in so far.

Please, don't shut that door.

I work here, you know...

and we're not supposed to

shut ourselves in with the guests.

Oh, I wasn't thinking about

anything like that. I -

I just wanted a word with you

in private, if you didn't mind.

I feel, um -

I - I've got to talk to somebody.

Well, why me?

I'm only the housekeeper here.

I shouldn't be in here anyhow.

I'm sorry.

Look. Don't look at me like that.

And look at me as though

you expect me to be sorry for you.

It's the limit.

And if you get any wrong ideas about that,

I'll knock you senseless.

Well, now that you're here, give me a hand

with this, and keep your voice down.

By the way-

before you start, you might like to know

that you're already regarded here...

as a sort of mystery man,

whatever that may mean.

I oughtn't to have come here.

It's not my kind of place.

What about all this traveling

you're supposed to have done?

All the traveling I've done is among Midland

farmers, trying to sell them farm implements.

What's wrong with that?

Why didn't you go on with it?

- Come into some money?

- No.

Never earned more than about

nine pounds a week.

But I'm not married,

and I've saved a few hundred.

Well, you're not spending

your savings here?

But why? Wanted a bit of high life?

In a way, I suppose.

I got into some trouble - uh...

heard some bad news.

I thought I might as well

have a flutter while I had still a chance.

What bad news? What sort of trouble?

Or don't you want to tell me?

- Think I'd better not.

- All right. It's nothing to do with me.

But you needn't think

I'm going to tell anybody about you.

But now that you are here,

don't creep about looking apologetic.

Be a mystery man,

or anything else you want to be.

And tell 'em what you think.

It'll do 'em good.

I could never get Sir Herbert

to touch a tomato.

One of his fads.

- I'll take those.

- Yes, madam.

"Nay, Herbert," I'd say,

"Don't be so silly"...

but it didn't make a bit of difference,

wouldn't touch 'em.

Fancy!

- What did I tell you? You would come here.

- I'm not grumbling, am I, Joe?

As good as. I'm grumbling, all right.

Look at 'em. Look.

About as much life here

as the old fourpenny waxworks,

We ought to have gone

to Brighton like I said.

You and your Brighton.

So I was wondering if he could be

one of the beaky Birds we used to know.

One of the girls -

Emily, I think it was -

went mad and wouldn't

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