Landline Page #3

- Serious.

She said she wanted

to know my personality

before I knew her face.

- Was she...

a normal person?

- She was kind of

a mean drunk.

[both laugh]

- [snorts]

- I'm really happy to see that

you never kicked your snort.

- I don't want

to talk about it.

- This one made it

on a foot loom.

It was slamming.

She made all of them.

Dowels, we made

like a thousand dowels.

- What is that?

- [laughs]

It's an engagement ring.

- You finally did it.

- [sighs]

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

[soft music]

[door slams]

[thumping electronic music

playing]

- Come with me.

- I'm going to go

with Sophie.

- That's so whack.

- It will help me study.

[indistinct chatter]

- That's not coke.

- I know, it's H.

- Holy sh*t.

Are we really just going

to do this right now?

- I did it with Danny

last week.

It's really not scary.

It's like climbing

back into the womb.

You won't even have

to do that much.

[sniffs]

- Call my mom

if I die.

[sniffs]

[sniffs]

[sighs]

[thumping music]

[exhales]

[sniffs]

[sipping]

[soft music]

[shuffling disks]

[electric whirring]

What?

[clicking mouse]

[clicking mouse]

[clicking mouse]

[gasps]

[whispers]

What the f***?

[clicking mouse]

Holy f***, Dad.

[clicking]

[dot matrix printer printing]

- In celebration

of the contributions

women make in every aspect...

- Ah, gotcha.

- Doesn't that hurt?

- This from the guy who's

gonna row over his own balls.

- As mothers, wives, sisters,

daughters...

- Wow, I love that suit.

- Traffic is gonna

be a nightmare.

We better leave soon.

- I thought we were

going to talk to Ali?

- Can we talk tonight?

She's not going clubbing

in the middle of the day.

- She went out again

last night.

I saw her pile of clothes

when I took out the trash.

- Detective Pat.

- God forbid she'd dislike you

for five seconds.

- This is not me leaving you

to be bad cop, all right?

- Bad cop.

I'm barely a crossing guard.

- All right, I really

will talk to her tonight.

I promise.

What do you think?

Two weeks no phone?

And that includes Jed.

- You know the boy's name.

- Uh-huh.

- Hmm.

- No.

- What are you, a mime?

- Yes, I studied in France.

Actually, I'm a crossing guard,

and you can't pass

without paying the toll.

[kissing]

- We may help bring

new dignity and respect...

- That is a nice suit.

- [knocking]

You up?

Bullshit.

[muted traffic noise]

[siren wailing in distance]

- McCann Erickson?

[British accent]

- Mr. Jacobs, please?

- May I ask who's calling?

- Tell him it's C.

- Please hold.

- Yeah, I'll hold.

- We all know

what we're breathing.

Whether or not he knows

that it's the same air

that jackass Giuliani

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