Lady Killer

Synopsis: When a movie theater usher is fired, he takes up with criminals and finds himself quite adept at various illegal activities. Eventually though, the police catch up with him, and he runs to hide out in Los Angeles. There he stumbles into the movie business and soon rises to stardom. He has gone straight, but his newfound success arouses the interest of his old criminal associates, who are not above blackmail...
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Roy Del Ruth
Production: Warner Home Video
76 min

- Count off.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

At ease.

Now, men, Mr. Jeffries

has something important to say to you.

Boys, I've been managing

picture theaters for a long time.

This is the neatest and best-drilled

company of ushers I've ever seen.

But some are not measuring up... the necessary standards

of discipline that I insist upon.

I won't mention any names.

This is merely a friendly warning

that any usher caught chewing gum...

...during the performance of duty

will be dismissed.

I also have a report that a certain usher

is making a habit...

...of using the men's lavatory on the

mezzanine floor for dice and crap games.

This must stop.

I think I've made myself clear.

That's all.

Keep an eye on them, Seymour.

Company, attention.

Fall out for five minutes.

Oh, Quigley.

Come here.

I've already warned you

a couple of times this week.

Look at yourself.

Well, what's your excuse this time?

Walking around on my knees

to give my arches a rest.

Let me see your hands.

Ever try using soap and water?

Let me see the other one.

I thought so.

You heard what Mr. Jeffries said.

That's your last warning.

If you're late again you'll be dismissed.

Feature goes on in 15 minutes.

Seats in the balcony only.

Stairway to the right, please.

Edward G. Robinson

in Dark Hazard. "

- We've gotta get a load of that guy.

- Yeah, he's not bad.

You got a Mickey Mouse

on the bill today?

No, not today.

What, no Mickey Mouse?

- No, no Mickey Mouse.

- Why?

He's making a personal appearance

in Jersey City.

Oh, you're trying to kid somebody, huh?

- Ha-ha-ha.

- Come on, Slug, let's get our dough back.

I'm sorry,

but you can't take the dog inside.

- Fido wouldn't make a bit of trouble.

- Sorry, but it's against the rules.

I'll have you understand

I'm not a madam.

Well, I wouldn't know about that.

I'm sorry.

- Take your hands off me.

- What's the trouble here?

- The lady has a dog.

- You needn't have been so rude about it.

Poor Fido, did he hurt-um?

- May I take your dog?

- No.

I'll give him back to you

after the performance.

You're sure you'll take good care of him?

- Certainly.

- Thanks.

That's the second complaint I've had

in five minutes.

- I must be slowing up.

- I think we can get along without you.

- Aw, you hurt me.

- Turn in your uniform.

Listen, Fido,

this guy's got a wooden leg.

Try it sometime.

I dub you lieutenant.

Uh-huh. Did it again.

That's four pairs in a row.

If this keeps up,

I'm gonna buy you a fur coat.

- What kind do you want?

- Mink.

You'll take rabbit and like it.

And that's no...

Am I aggrieved.

Well, better luck next time.


What lovely weather we're having.

Excuse me, I've gotta see a patient.

- Taxi?

- Uh...

No, no, uh...

That dame just dropped this purse.

- Well, I'll see that she gets it.

- Uh-uh, uh-uh. Ha-ha.

No, I think she'd like me to have it.

What is it?

Yeah, you're the doll.

You dropped this in the Randolph Hotel.

- I tried to catch you, but you were too fast.

- Oh, thank you.

I didn't miss it until I got home.

I wondered where I lost it.

Won't you, uh, come in a minute?

Who could say no?

Oh, it's all there.

All I wanted was the card.

I didn't mean it that way.

I was looking for a reward for you,

but I'm afraid I haven't got enough.

Who said anything about dough?

Well, uh, at least sit down

and have a drink.

Why not make it two? One for you.

- Well, I'll have a little one.

- Good. Heh.

How much?

Oh, about two ounces.

One for each kidney.


Oh, uh, chaser?

- Always have been.

- Oh...

Funny fella.

I beg your pardon.

I didn't know you had company.

Oh, that's all right. I lost my purse

and this gentleman returned it.

Oh, uh, what did you say your name was?

Well, I guess I can tell it here.

Dan Quigley.

- Irish?

- That's the rumor.

Well, Mr. Quigley, I want you to know

my brother-in-law, Mr. Maddock.

- Pleased to meet you.

- Same to you.


You've got a game going on in there.

Yes, just a five-cent ante,

three of the boys from my lodge.

Do you mind if I kiss myself in,

make it five-handed?

Not at all.

New customer might change my luck.

All right, swell.

Sorry, but you know how it is.

- Go ahead.

- May make the price of a fur coat.

Who can tell? Ha-ha-ha.

A pair of queens for Quigley

and an ace showing for me.

Beat the queens.

I'll fold.

- Not for me.

Here goes my stack.


That last ace came in handy.

That cleans me. I'll be drifting along.

- Too bad you had rotten luck.

- You can't draw tough cards all your life.

You played a good game,

but you just didn't have them.

Well, better luck next time, Quigley.

- No squawk. Be seeing you.


- Any luck?

- Yeah, plenty. All bad.

I think I'll stick to checkers.

Well, thanks for returning my purse.

- Come up again sometime.

- You mean when I can stay longer?

All right, baby.

Keep a light burning in the window.

- So long.

- Goodbye.

Uh, pardon me.

Does Miss Myra Gale live on this floor?

Why, yes, she lives right in there.

But she's not in now.

Anything I can do?

I'm her brother-in-law.

Well, I found her purse.

She lost it in a florist shop on

Fifth Avenue, so I came to return it.

Yes, I see. That's nice of you.

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Ben Markson

Ben Markson (August 6, 1892 – October 20, 1971) was an American screenwriter active from the very beginning of the sound film era through the end of the 1950s. During his 30-year career he was responsible for the story and/or screenplay of 45 films, as well as writing the scripts for several episodic television shows in the 1950s. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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