Krampus Page #3

but not his hunger.

So, to survive,

he had to slaughter

and eat his reindeer.

Including Rudolph.

"Ate" tiny reindeer. Get it?

Knock it off!

Don't start anything.

- Hey, guys, take it easy.

They're just playing,

Tommy.

Macaroni and cheese

and hot dogs. Oh, Jesus.

So what kind of

godforsaken concoction

are you whipping up now?

You know how

this fancy food

clogs my pipes.

Well, how about

we go to your trailer

for Christmas next year, hmm?

And after you spent weeks

decorating and cooking

and cleaning,

I might just waddle in

and start bitching and moaning

about everything

you've worked so hard on.

- Oh, Sarah, you know--

- no, aunt Dorothy, please.

For your sake, just... stay

the hell out of my kitchen.

You know,

reindeer are actually

a sustainable food source

in the northern territories,

in Alaska, Canada.

This time of year,

we refer to reindeer

as a transportation system

for Santa claus.

We know you still believe

in the big, fat creeper.

I don't know what

you're talking about.

You sure about that?

Max, stop.

"Dear Santa,

I know I haven't

been great this year,

and I'm sorry for that,

but I was really hoping you

could help out me and my family

this Christmas.

We need you."

- Oh, maxi-pad,

that's so sweet.

- Give it back!

Stop, Max.

Blah, blah, blah,

bullshit, bullshit.

- Ah, here we go--

maxi's wish list.

- Stevie, stop. That's enough.

Wait, you're up first, Beth.

"I wish me and Beth could

hang out like we used to.

You might have noticed that

i don't have tons of friends."

Oh, no, really, Max?

"I wish my mom and dad

could fall in love again.

I know they get upset a lot,

with dad away from home so much.

I think they really

just miss each other."

"Also, I wish things weren't

so hard for uncle Howard

and aunt Linda.

So maybe you

can lend them a hand

the rest of the year too.

And--

and that--"

screw you.

Dad does not wish

we were boys.

Okay, who wants

crme brle?

Give me the letter!

Give it back!

Hey, Max. Hey.

Hey! Hey!

Hey!

Girls!

Hey! Hey!

Come on, Howard.

Stevie, Jordan.

Come on.

All right, all right,

that's enough.

- Are you okay? Honey?

- Enough. Enough.

I just wanted Christmas

to be like it used to be,

but forget it.

I hate Christmas!

I hate all of you!

Max. Max!

Oh, lay off of him.

Kid deserves a prize

just for telling the truth.

- Can I come in?

- - No.

You know, they're leaving

right after Christmas,

so we only have to survive

another... three days.

I don't get it.

Every year it gets worse.

Why do we have to

put up with their crap

just because we share DNA?

Because that's what

a family is, Max.

People you try

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