Knock Knock Page #3

My kid dropped mine in the tub,

and you won't believe this,

but if you put it in rice

it kinda dries it out.

- That would be awesome.

- Rice?

Oh, my God,

you're like a MythBuster.

Thank you so much, Evan.

You're welcome...

- Genesis.

- Genesis.

Yeah, like

the beginning of time.

In the beginning.

Sorry.

Yup, that was...

You're sick of that.

Thanks.

I'll, uh...

I'll go get you some.

Hey, Evan?

Where should we put these?

Oh, I'll take them.

No, we can do it.

We don't mind.

I got it.

I made you some tea.

- Thank you.

- Thank you, that's nice.

- So sweet.

- I'll trade you.

Uh, okay.

Gracias.

Excuse me.

Oh, my God.

Oh, sorry.

We were trying to warm up.

Yeah, I mean, we've

never seen one of these before.

- A real one.

- It's okay.

Just be careful. It's old.

I see you've met Monkey.

Yeah, this is Monkey.

It's time for Monkey

to go to bed.

- Bye, Monkey.

- Night-night, Monkey.

- Night-night.

- Sweet dreams.

Bye, Monkey.

All right, Monkey.

Go home, Monkey.

You have so many records.

Sorry. We had to try one.

Stop apologizing, it's okay.

I love this album.

You have good taste.

This is like...

An insane collection.

- Yeah.

- It must be worth a fortune.

Well, everything's

online now, so...

But, uh, I love

the sound of vinyl.

You're really into music.

Well, it used to be my job.

What? Like a record salesman?

I was a DJ.

Oh, my God. That's so cool!

You're like Major Lazer!

It's really a hobby now,

I haven't had a real gig in years.

Wait, how old are you?

I'm 43.

- No f***ing way.

- I can't believe you're 43.

I thought you were, like,

28 or 30 at the most.

Well, I got married

when I was 30.

Where's your wife?

She's at the beach with my kids.

We were gonna spend

Father's Day there, but, uh, work happened.

Oh, my God, you are all

alone on Father's Day.

Poor Evan, we'll keep

you company!

Hugs!

No, it's fine.

We celebrated this morning.

Whoa, you're not 43.

You must work out,

like, every day.

Yeah, I keep in shape.

Not like when I was

in my 20s, but, uh...

Come on, any guy that ripped

is more into his own ass

than yours.

Yeah, I mean, like, seriously,

is that all you do?

Oh, my God,

I remember

I f***ed this model once,

and while we were having sex

I caught him doing

crunches in the mirror.

It was the gayest thing ever.

I'd take somebody that's older and more

experienced over an Abercrombie model any day.

Yeah.

Well, hopefully one day

you'll find both.

I don't know.

Underwear models are the kind of guys

you f*** when you're 14.

That's a statement.

- This is your wife?

- Yup.

I want to see it.

Wow! She's so pretty.

She's beautiful.

You're a lucky guy.

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote