Kiss Me Kate Page #3

It's probably that cowboy.

He is not a cowboy.

He's a cattle baron.

Cattle baron? What's his crest?

A hamburger smothered with onions?

Hello? Oh, hello, Tex, darling.

I was expecting you at the theater.

Oh, you're still at the stockyards.

- What are they getting for New York cuts?

- How dare you!

Tex, darling, I apologize. This...

$ 1.30 a pound?

Oh, but I wanted you to come

to the theater tonight, darling.

Oh, the steer are restless.

Yes, love. I'm blowing you two kisses.

Bye, darling.

All right. I give up. What is it?

Headlight of a locomotive?

It's my engagement ring.

- Well, I hope you'll be very happy.

- Thank you.

Do you know what day this is, Fred?

Our anniversary.

- What anniversary?

- The first anniversary of our divorce.

And I have a little remembrance for you.

Well, it's just what I wanted.

A cork.

From our first bottle of champagne.

Our wedding breakfast?

In my apartment.

You mean that one room of yours

over the Armenian bakery?

You should complain,

you didn't even have a room.

Why do you think I married you?

That was the season we played

the Barter Theatre in Virginia...

...and they gave you a ham.

Well, we lived on it all winter.

And I got a job reading tea leaves

at the Automat. Remember?

And I demonstrated shaving soap

at the five-and-dime.

That's how I spent my honeymoon...

...at the five-and-dime,

watching you shave.

Were we married then?

Yes. Mother was staying with us.

How could I forget?

It was right after we closed in that...

...Viennese operetta, laid in Switzerland,

only the costumes were Dutch.

Oh, sure! Now I remember.

I was understudying the lead.

No, dear. We were both in the chorus.

You know, there was a waltz

in that show. Something about...

Something about a bar...

Yeah!

You are ravishing tonight.

You've made me the happiest of men.

Ah, your highness, you overwhelm me.

It was a good number, wasn't it?

I always liked it.

What happened to us, Fred?

I don't know.

Whose fault was it?

Well, it could have been your disposition.

It might have been your ego.

Fifteen minutes.

We'd... We'd better get dressed.

I don't like my face.

- Neither do I.

- Who are you?

- Hey, fine-looking fellow.

- Clean-cut.

- What are you doing backstage?

- What a figure! What a profile.

Gentlemen, I'm deeply touched

by your admiration, but...

- What diction!

- Very elocutionary.

And he does not spit when he talks.

This is all very flattering,

but I receive the public...

...after the performance, not before.

- What grace!

If I had to do something to him,

I'd cry like a baby.

Come back after the performance.

I'll be happy to present you

with my autograph then.

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