Kinky Boots Page #4

For A Younger Model,

You Whiny Little Welsh Bastard,

I'm just gonna have

to sing your memory.

Show us your tits.

Certainly. Ladies and Gentleman,

there they are.

Give 'em a round of applause.

Are they as wrinkly

as your arms, love?

- Is there a man in there?

- Good one.

I have to tell you, sweetheart,

my breasts are as smooth and beautiful

as the day that I bought them.

Bastard.

Hey.

Forget it, Don. Out of your league.

Nah. You seem to forget,

women get turned on

by the sight of the working man.

Morning, Charlie.

Lola.

Come in.

Sorry it's a bit messy. We...

I thought we agreed

that I'd come to London.

I warn you, Charlie from Northampton,

I have a terrible habit of doing

the opposite of what people want.

Some might say

that attempts of certain people

to make a man out of me as a child

is the reason that I now wear a frock.

If I get the feeling somebody

didn't want me to come to Northampton...

- No.

- Also, I can tell

from years of experience when I'm

being smuggled in through a rear door.

- That's the rough-stuff room.

- Is it?

It's where we dump

all the offcuts and misshapes.

There you go.

I wondered why I was drawn to it.

- Pardon?

- Nothing.

I'll raise.

That's George.

Listen, Mel, all I say is,

when it comes to attracting women

some men don't have to speak.

This is cosy.

All right.

Here we are.

Well?

What do you think?

Burgundy.

Please, God, tell me

I've not inspired something burgundy.

Red.

Red.

Red.

Red. Charlie boy.

Rule one. Red...

... is the colour of sex.

Burgundy is the colour

of hot water bottles.

Red is the colour

of sex and fear and danger

and signs that say, "Do Not Enter."

All of my favourite things in life.

- Who's that?

- He's got your new girlfriend in there.

- But they're comfy.

- Comfy?

Sex shouldn't be comfy.

Thank God.

I thought it was just me.

I don't know what you're used to makir,

but now you're making sex.

Two-and-a-half feet

of irresistible tubular sex.

I mean, that heel. For God's sake.

It won't break.

That's what you wanted.

Not if it means looking like

a Ukrainian peasant.

It's better than flouncing around

like a...

You wanna show your niche market

a little more respect, Charlie.

- Let's ask your girls.

- No.

Girls. Would you wear

something like this to go out?

No.

You'd look all right in 'em, sweetheart.

You've pulled.

Oh, yeah.

Ladies.

Well, I'm very flattered.

But frankly,

if you can't get women to wear 'em,

you'll never get blokes like me

to wear 'em.

Do we still have a workforce?

Dorll come around.

Once he's stopped...

...walking up and down, swearing.

- Well, that's his problem.

- No, it's our problem, Lola.

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