Kingsman: The Golden Circle

1

MAN (DISTORTED VOICE): Eggy.

You mind if I share your cab?

Charlie?

It's ironic, isn't it?

You look like a gentleman,

I look like a pleb.

If I was you,

I'd unlock your cab.

(BEEPING)

(CHARLIE GRUNTS)

Pete, get us out of here!

(CHARLIE GRUNTING)

(TIRES SQUEALING)

(GRUNTING)

(UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING

ON SPEAKERS)

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

You think that sh*t's

gonna work this time?

You're way out of your depth.

(YELLS)

(METAL SCRAPING)

(YELLS)

(SCREAMS)

(groans)

(YELLS)

(GASPS)

F***!

(YELLS)

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

(YELLS)

(GRUNTS)

(YELLS)

(PANTING)

(ENGINE REVVING)

(WHIRRING)

(TIRES SQUEALING)

Take him out!

Merlin! We've got

a Code Purple.

My driver's down.

Permission to blow

these f***ers away.

MERLIN:
Denied.

Cannot be contained.

Head south,

I'm clearing the route.

(GASPING)

Sh*t!

Merlin, I'm entering Hyde Park.

Can I get on with it?

Merlin!

Dark zone confirmed.

Permission to fire.

Oh, thank f*** for that!

(BEEPS)

MERLIN:
No time to relax.

Police are right behind you.

You have 30 seconds before

they reach your position.

Go directly to Rendezvous Swan.

Merlin, you do realize

I haven't even got a windscreen right now?

I seem to remember

from your training

you were rather good

at holding your breath.

(SIRENS WAILING)

(SIGHS)

(DEEP INHALE)

(GASPING)

(COUGHING)

MERLIN:
It wasn't

a revenge mission.

Charlie could've just

killed you immediately.

Not boasting,

but I trained him well enough

that even he wouldn't

mess that up.

EGGSY:
Merlin, I'm sorry,

we're gonna have to do

the debrief tomorrow.

I've got to get

to a dinner tonight...

and if I miss it, let's just say

Charlie might as well

have killed me.

Well, if you can't wait

for the police

to clear the park...

there's another way out

in the corner.

(GAGS AND COUGHS)

F***!

(CHUCKLES)

(EGGSY GROANS)

How important is that dinner?

(SIGHS)

Let me show you.

(WHIRRING)

(GRUNTS)

(GASPING)

For f***'s sake!

(DOOR OPENS)

Babe.

I'm home!

I'm here.

What the hell happened?

It's a long story

that deserves a kiss.

(CHUCKLES) Not even JB

would kiss you right now.

EGGSY:
If you really love me,

just one little kiss.

(GASPS)

You were really gonna do it?

Yeah.

Now, that is

true love right there.

Amazing. I'm gonna

go get changed.

GROUP:
Happy birthday to you!

(CHEERING AND WHOOPING)

And Tilde made that

for you herself, bruv.

PRINCESS TILDE:
Mmm-hmm.

The royal baker's not available.

(LAUGHTER)

Oh, shut up, Brandon.

Especially if you

want some of this.

Oh! Wait. Is that that

Swedish stuff right there?

Yes.

No, no. I ain't drinkin'

none of that.

Last time here,

I was wrecked, man.

Yeah, but that's 'cause you

were a lightweight, Jamal.

(LAUGHING)

No, no, babe, I'm good.

Not for me, thank you.

Oh, what?

What's going on, man?

I'm meeting her parents

for the first time

tomorrow night.

(WHOOPING)

I wanna make a good

impression, so what?

Oh, yeah, Jamal,

are you free to dogsit JB

tomorrow night

while we're there?

Ah, sorry, bruv, I've got

to look after my nan tomorrow.

But Liam's free, though.

EGGSY:
Oh, yeah?

I can't, mate.

I'm allergic to dogs.

Bullshit.

Dogshit, actually.

(laughing)

That leaves you, Brandon.

What you doing tomorrow night?

Yeah, I'll look after

your dog, mate,

but I got one condition.

What's that?

You have a drink with us.

Yeah.

Got to do it, babe.

Got to do it.

(EXCLAIMS)

Brandon, happy birthday!

ALL:
Happy birthday.

JAMAL:
Yeah.

EGGSY:
Cheers.

Sh*t.

POPPY:

My drugs are everywhere.

They were never my thing...

but here I am,

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