Kids Return

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Director :
Takeshi Kitano

- You have 10 minutes stage time.

- Okay.

- Hi, there. We're Antarctic 55.

- Nice to be here with you.

What a wonderful crowd you are.

It's great to see you all.

- We've been a duo since high school.

- That's right, since high school.

You know, people recognize me now

when I go out.

The other day,

everybody was staring at me.

Good for you.

- I was just taking my suit off.

- Well, it is rather flashy.

- They were all staring at me.

- Both men and women?

- Yes, even a lion.

- A lion? ln the street?

But I kept undressing.

And now you're a celebrity.

- So I pulled my pants back up.

- Good move.

Masaru.

Hello.

Still at it?

No, I quit.

Oh, I see.

And you?

I'm doing nothing.

Are you going anywhere?

Yes, job hunting.

I'll give you a ride.

No, thanks.

We used to ride to school together,

remember?

Watch out! Pedal to the right!

Are you trying to kill me?

Masaru, shouldn't we be at school?

We're at school, stupid!

This is the school playground.

Watanabe!

Stop looking out the window.

It's those morons again.

What's going on?

He's got it.

Shall we go to class

for a change?

School is almost over.

So what do you want to be?

- Dojokes, gags, you know.

- You mean a comedian?

I wanted to be a model

when I was a kid.

We all had big dreams--

a fashion model?

- A plastic model.

- You're nuts!

He's here again.

Must have the hots for Sachiko.

He's not her type.

I'm leaving.

See you soon.

Leaving already?

I got a part-timejob.

That's nice.

- Good luck.

- Thank you.

You too should get a job

if you're broke.

- What is this?

- What?

It's probably a gift for you.

It's so naff.

I think it's sweet.

Hand over your money.

What about you?

I don't have any.

Okay, jump.

Jump up and down.

No money, eh?

Take off your socks.

Take off your socks, I said!

Let's go.

Why don't you smoke?

Smoking can damage my health.

So what?

You're already brain-damaged.

Thanks a lot.

Coffee, please.

There. You left it here.

- It's a gift for you.

- Thanks, but I don't want it.

I want you to keep it.

I have one, too,

exactly the same.

If you have the time,

would you read this?

All right.

One coffee.

What did he give you?

Maybe a love letter.

You never know.

- Can I pay?

- That'll be 800 yen.

- Leaving already?

- We're hardworking students.

"When I get into bed

and close my eyes...

it's your face, Sachiko,

that appears before me.

And you smile at me.

It is evident...

I've fallen deeply, madly,

completely in love with you!"

"Fallen in love."

Did you get it?

This is so embarrassing.

Now listen well.

Suppose you throw a dart

at the circle on the left.

What is the probability

of the dart hitting "A"?

That's assuming that you don't

miss the target, of course.

Get this right.

The length of the radius is 1 0.

All right?

We don't expect you two to study.

All that we ask is that

you don't disturb the others.

If you can't stop that,

don't bother to come to class.

Maybe we should

have them expelled.

You mean both of them?

This is the money I earn

from my part-timejob.

I can't spare any money.

In that case, try shoplifting.

I can't afford to be arrested.

My mum, I'm all she's got.

Your mum?

Why should we care?

- Go and buy it!

- You go and buy it!

- Why me?

- Want holes in your head?

Okay, what do you want?

- What?

- A hamburger.

Me too. And you?

I want--

- What do you want?

- I'll have a fish burger.

- A hamburger for me too.

- What's got into you guys?

Just go and buy them!

If they get any worse,

it'll be insufferable.

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