Kick-Ass 2
at more than 700 miles per hour.
Hey, whoa. Absolutely not. No.
Mmm-mmm.
Look, if you don't wanna do
it, you don't have to do it.
Okay. Good,
I don't wanna do it.
Fine.
Goddamn! I'm alive.
Oh!
Oh, that's amazing!
I know, right. So...
Hmm.
Ready to go again?
Absolutely not.
Fine.
Don't just say "fine" and
then shoot me in the chest.
'Cause it's not cool.
Like at all.
Okay. Jeez.
tried to be a superhero before me.
It turns out
somebody had. Mindy Macready.
After her dad died, his
old partner on the force,
Marcus,
became her guardian.
Is that a Pink Pony bag she's wearing?
Nice backpack.
Thanks.
Steal it from a six year old?
Marcus dropped
her off every day.
But as soon as he
was gone, so was she.
No one at school found out because
she hacked into the server
and gave herself the award
for perfect attendance.
Hit Girl and Big Daddy
had been the real deal.
Mindy was gonna
keep wearing the mask
as long as there were
criminals to take down.
But no matter how many
drug dealers she stopped,
she couldn't stop
feeling alone.
Me? I'd given up
being a superhero
because it was
way too dangerous.
Only problem,
I was dying of boredom.
Like most
high school seniors,
I had no idea what I
wanted to do with my life.
Hell, I didn't know what
channel I wanted to watch.
It's just TV, Dave, not
peace in the Middle East.
My best friends
Todd and Marty
had no clue I was the first
superhero to go public.
You guys watch
Spider-Man last night?
Is it weird that Aunt
May gets me kinda hard?
Not if you're
a granny-slammer.
They may wear
costumes, but it isn't Halloween.
They're real
life superheroes,
and in the two years since
donned capes and masks,
the movement has
started to spread.
I became a superhero
because of Kick-Ass.
Yeah, you just
come home from work,
you grab your gear
and you go out on patrol.
Help us make
the streets safe.
I inspired all those
people to get off their asses,
and now
I was stuck on mine.
decided to get my old costume out.
Sorry. Whoa! Can't you knock?
You know, buddy, it's perfectly
normal for you to touch yourself...
Oh, Jesus, Dad.
Get out!
DAVE'. If I was even thinking
about a Kick-Ass sequel,
I had to get serious.
Hey. Hey,
can we chat?
Please, Mindy?
Get in the cab.
Meter's running.
I wanna team up
like Batman and Robin.
Nobody wants to be Robin.
What's wrong with Robin?
Weren't you like
Big Daddy's Robin?
Robin wishes he was me.
What I'm trying to say
is we should be partners,
you and me, like the dynamic duo.
I'm in the NFL, Dave.
You play pee-wee.
So? Train me.
I wanna walk the walk,
and you're the closest thing
I know to a real superhero.
Aren't you tired
of being on your own?
Don't you wanna know
someone's there for you?
Someone who's
got your back?
And you'll do
anything I say?
Anything.
Hit me.
You're a 15-year-old girl.
What the hell?
Act like a b*tch,
get slapped like a b*tch.
Oh, goddamn.
Mindy beat me like morning
wood every day for three weeks.
Come on. Guard up!
Left, right, guard up!
Even with my damaged nerve
endings, it hurt like hell.
But, in a weird way,
It gave me
a sense of purpose.
What happened to your face?
Nothing.
Like we were driving
towards something.
Goddamn!
Oh! Oh, that's amazing!
All the other people putting on
masks were just playing superhero.
We were training
to really do it.
I couldn't tell my girlfriend
Katie, or Marty and Todd.
But I didn't care. We
were having too much fun.
Left, right, left!
Our own superhero team.
It was gonna be balls.
What the hell, Mom? Did you
delete the news off the DVR?
Yes. Yes,
I did, Christopher.
That was the one
with Kick-Ass.
Oh, Christopher, you've gotta stop
obsessing over this superhero.
He is not a superhero,
Mom, he's a murderer.
He blew up Dad with a
bazooka, for f***'s sake!
Your father died
in a fire.
A fire?
What is your problem?
You! You are my problem!
to be a normal boy!
That's why we moved to Long Island
after your father's accident.
A bazooka is not an accident,
you delusional b*tch!
This conversation is over.
Great. Then I'm leaving.
Come on, Javier,
be cool.
Sorry, Chris, but your mom
pays me not to be cool.
I hate you! You home-school
me like I'm a prisoner!
You threw away
my Red Mist costume.
God! I am not
the problem! You are!
I wish you were dead!
Mommy?
Don't touch that.
Oh, I'm sorry.
What is it?
It's a last resort. Like if all
else fails and you're about to die.
Are you not scared to die?
Are you scared you're never gonna
grow into your big boy pants?
I'm serious. What if Spider-Man
or Batman got killed one night?
It could happen.
If you're scared of dying, one thing
is certain, you are going to die.
My daddy was never
afraid of dying.
Look where that got him.
He knew he might have to make
the ultimate sacrifice one day.
And that's why
he made me promise
I'd never stop
defending this city.
Cross my heart,
hope to die.
Your dad was insane.
You know that, right?
You're wrong, Dave. My daddy
was the first real superhero,
not you or Red Mist.
It was my daddy,
and it was an honor
to serve by his side.
Hey, Min,
how was school?
Super crazy.
Miss Mullins
was out today,
so we had Mr. Cooper teaching
us biology, such a grump.
Oh, really? That's weird because
Principal Himoff called me yesterday.
You were supposed
to get an award
for perfect attendance,
but you didn't attend.
I followed you this morning. Saw
you get into a cab with some boy,
and I lost you guys
over the bridge.
So now you wanna tell me
where you really were today?
I'm really sorry, Marcus.
I didn't wanna make you mad.
Cut the waterworks, Min.
You're 15, not five.
Okay.
Look, he asked me to out
class and go to the mall.
So,yeah,
yeah, I did.
This has nothing to do
with you being Hit Girl?
I'm not gonna
find any ninja blades
or throwing stars
under your bed?
No. I just wanted him
to like me. Okay?
Sweetie, skipping school's not
a way to get boys to like you.
I'm so stupid.
Hey, hey.
You're one of the smartest little girls I know.
Let's go get some pizza.
What, you mean
I'm not grounded?
Well, just consider
this a warning.
Hey, you sure you wanna
give all your mom's things away?
What the hell am I supposed
to do with all her stuff?
Damn, she had
a nice pair of guns.
Dude, she's dead!
Don't talk about her tits.
Oh, those.
Those were my dad's.
Why don't you keep them?
Are you sure?
Yeah. I mean,
they belong to you, right?
Come on, Chris.
You're your own man now.
Just be careful, all right?
Yeah.
Whoa!
Definitely don't
wanna keep those!
I'll take care of it.
You take the day off.
Later.
Hey.
So, are you ready for
What am I supposed
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"Kick-Ass 2" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/kick-ass_2_11717>.
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