
Kick-Ass 2
at more than 700 miles per hour.
Hey, whoa. Absolutely not. No.
Mmm-mmm.
Look, if you don't wanna do
it, you don't have to do it.
Okay. Good,
I don't wanna do it.
Fine.
Goddamn! I'm alive.
Oh!
Oh, that's amazing!
I know, right. So...
Hmm.
Ready to go again?
Absolutely not.
Fine.
Don't just say "fine" and
then shoot me in the chest.
'Cause it's not cool.
Like at all.
Okay. Jeez.
tried to be a superhero before me.
It turns out
somebody had. Mindy Macready.
After her dad died, his
old partner on the force,
Marcus,
became her guardian.
Is that a Pink Pony bag she's wearing?
Nice backpack.
Thanks.
Steal it from a six year old?
Marcus dropped
her off every day.
But as soon as he
was gone, so was she.
No one at school found out because
she hacked into the server
and gave herself the award
for perfect attendance.
Hit Girl and Big Daddy
had been the real deal.
Mindy was gonna
keep wearing the mask
as long as there were
criminals to take down.
But no matter how many
drug dealers she stopped,
she couldn't stop
feeling alone.
Me? I'd given up
being a superhero
because it was
way too dangerous.
Only problem,
I was dying of boredom.
Like most
high school seniors,
I had no idea what I
wanted to do with my life.
Hell, I didn't know what
channel I wanted to watch.
It's just TV, Dave, not
peace in the Middle East.
My best friends
Todd and Marty
had no clue I was the first
superhero to go public.
You guys watch
Spider-Man last night?
Is it weird that Aunt
May gets me kinda hard?
Not if you're
a granny-slammer.
They may wear
costumes, but it isn't Halloween.
They're real
life superheroes,
and in the two years since
donned capes and masks,
the movement has
started to spread.
I became a superhero
because of Kick-Ass.
Yeah, you just
come home from work,
you grab your gear
and you go out on patrol.
Help us make
the streets safe.
I inspired all those
people to get off their asses,
and now
I was stuck on mine.
decided to get my old costume out.
Sorry. Whoa! Can't you knock?
You know, buddy, it's perfectly
normal for you to touch yourself...
Oh, Jesus, Dad.
Get out!
DAVE'. If I was even thinking
about a Kick-Ass sequel,
I had to get serious.
Hey. Hey,
can we chat?
Please, Mindy?
Get in the cab.
Meter's running.
I wanna team up
like Batman and Robin.
Nobody wants to be Robin.
What's wrong with Robin?
Weren't you like
Big Daddy's Robin?
Robin wishes he was me.
What I'm trying to say
is we should be partners,
you and me, like the dynamic duo.
I'm in the NFL, Dave.
You play pee-wee.
So? Train me.
I wanna walk the walk,
and you're the closest thing
I know to a real superhero.
Aren't you tired
of being on your own?
Don't you wanna know
someone's there for you?
Someone who's
got your back?
And you'll do
anything I say?
Anything.
Hit me.
You're a 15-year-old girl.
What the hell?
Act like a bitch,
get slapped like a bitch.
Oh, goddamn.
Mindy beat me like morning
wood every day for three weeks.
Come on. Guard up!
Left, right, guard up!
Even with my damaged nerve
endings, it hurt like hell.
But, in a weird way,
It gave me
a sense of purpose.
What happened to your face?
Nothing.
Like we were driving
towards something.
Goddamn!
Oh! Oh, that's amazing!
All the other people putting on
masks were just playing superhero.
We were training
to really do it.
I couldn't tell my girlfriend
Katie, or Marty and Todd.
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Citation
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"Kick-Ass 2" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 22 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/kick-ass_2_11717>.