Kate & Leopold Page #3

I jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge

and took a walk in 1876 today.

I followed my great great

grandpa around old New York.

Are you listening?

Avidly.

This here's the twist, Kate.

Here's the kicker.

What's the kicker?

He followed me home.

Your great great grandfather?

Yes.

The Viscount of Buffalo.

No, he's not a viscount.

Viscou... Duke of Buffalo.

No, no, the Duke of Albany.

...Albany followed you home

through a crack in time.

He's a brilliant engineer.

He patented

the counterweight pulley.

He invented the elevator,

for Christ's sake.

You know what, Stuart?

You know what?

I'm not your girlfriend anymore.

I haven't been

for a whole month now.

You can tell me the truth.

I am telling you

the truth, Kate.

You can tell me you went

and picked up a transvestite

in Times Square.

I don't care.

You know what, Kate?

This is it, right here.

This is it, in a nutshell.

Our downfall.

You never-- not once--

believed in me.

Oh, I did, Stuart.

I did, for four years.

And I got burnt.

Okay, you want to know

who he is?

I'll tell you who he is.

He is a hacker.

High end. English.

I know him from Columbia.

He's in town for the Mac Expo

at the Javits.

We went out, got a little sloppy

on Guinness

and he passed out on my couch.

And that's the truth?

Mm-hmm. That's the truth.

Okay? Are you happy now?

Is that plausible enough

for you and your little

focus group?

You know what, Stuart?

I blew my best years on you.

Those were your best?

Look...

I'm sorry.

I have to go.

You'll get your Pilot

in the morning.

Orange alert.

Oh!

Otis!

Otis!

Bart, stop!

It's okay.

-It's okay.

-Where am l?

Well, um, there's not

an easy explanation for that.

If it's a ransom you seek,

my uncle won't pay a cent.

Except, perhaps, for my demise.

No. no. You're not

being kidnapped.

Bart, quiet!

I can scarcely see,

thanks to your spray.

My eyes feel like

Steak au Poivre.

So I ask you again,

where the hell am I?!

As far as I'm concerned,

you might be Jack the Ripper!

And you would have me believe

that I'm being detained

at present in the hereafter?

The time to come?

Yes.

Bart, quiet!

He needs a walk.

And you would

have me believe

that you are my progeny

product of a marriage unmade.

Yes.

Oh, and you

would have me believe

that you have found

a crack in time.

You, of all people,

should understand.

I mean, you're a scientist.

You invented the elevator.

What is an elevator?

What the hell

are you talk...

Where the hell am I?!

I told you--

you haven't

actually gone anywhere.

You're still in New York.

That, sir,

is not New York!

I'm afraid it is.

No, Kate.

Hello. Hello there.

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