Just Visiting

Synopsis: A knight and his valet are plagued by a witch, and to repair the damage, they make use of the services of a wizard. However, something goes wrong and they are transported from the twelfth century to the year 2000. There, the knight meets some of his family, and slowly learns what this new century is like. However, he still needs to get back to the twelfth century to deal with the witch, so he starts looking for a wizard.
Director(s): Jean-Marie Poiré
Production: Buena Vista Pictures
 
IMDB:
5.8
Metacritic:
38
Rotten Tomatoes:
33%
PG-13
Year:
2001
88 min
Website
272 Views


This is a story|of the past...

...and the future.

We will come to the future,|but first, the past.

Here we have|the Earl of Warwick.

We can see by|his petulantly arched brow...

...that he is not enroute|to a good deed.

Mmm.

Obey!

Enchanted.

Do you wish to live, old witch?

You have committed|grave crimes...

...against God and your king,|have you not?

Have mercy, my lord.|Silence.

The Frenchman|Count Thibault of Malfete...

...shall wed Lady Rosalind,|the daughter of our king.

I desire that woman.

Hmm.

I alone am fit to take her hand.

And her castle, lands,|the riches that are her dowry.

Thou art not as stupid|as thou art hideous, old hag.

Tomorrow night...

...the king shall feast|the arrival of the count.

I want the count dead|before the feast is over.

A small fortune in gold...

...awaits the sorceress|who doth my bidding.

Not so fast.

How shall I know thy magic|is sufficient to the task?

Does thou find|proof enough in this?

Aah!

That will do!

Take it, witch!

Was that proof enough,|my lord?

Come to the king's castle|tomorrow night...

...and carry out my plan.

If you fail...|you will be burned.

Ohh!

Our hero, of course,|knew none of this.

He was safely|in his entourage...

...traveling, he thought,|to his wedding.

Here he is...|the Count of Malfete.

He is also a duke,|a baron, and a lord.

A nobleman, plagued by|only those small things...

...which inconvenience|a knight...

...the permanent presence|of his sisters...

...his mother and father...

...and, as all knights|must endure...

...an idiot servant, Andre...

...whose smell|made people faint...

...a considerable achievement...

...among a population|who never bathed.

Down, peasant!

The duke, or Thibault...

...as his subjects were|not allowed to call him...

...was joyous.

The long-awaited day|of his marriage...

...had come at last.

What have we got here?

Another lot of|bloody royal bastards?

Must be that French duke...

...come to marry|the king's daughter.

Mind the forest!

There be dragons|who'll make dinner...

...from your bones in there!

Andre loved and protected his master.

Master! Master!

The forest... it is haunted!

Thibault responded.

Thank you, master.

With every step...

...he came closer to|the castle of his beloved.

He hoped he would be|with her soon...

...for rare was the journey|in which Thibault...

...did not have to stop|and rescue someone.

This was no exception.

For like his ancestors...

...he lived by|an ancient family rule...

A woman in distress!

The only one he knew.

Aah! Aah!

Beware, sire.

Courage was more than a duty.

Courage was his creed.

Aah!

Andre!|Join your master!

I'm talking to you!|Go, go! Stupid peasant!

Sire! Behind you!

Ohh!

Naturally.

Courage is our creed!

He was invincible.

Except he was not invincible...

...against witchcraft.

For this would be|his last victory...

...in this millennium.

Afternoon, sir.

I hear a rumor...

...thou art marrying tomorrow,|my lord.

I have heard this rumor.

I have also heard...

...the bride is the most beautiful|in all of England.

But it is not true.

It is not?|No.

Am I not the most|beautiful bride...

...in all of England?

No. Wait.

The most beautiful bride...

...in all the world.

Wear this for me, Thibault.

Wear it against thine heart.

Thou shalt always be true.

Lady Rosalind.

Thou shalt not|disgrace thyself...

...before the wedding.

I must hide|and dress for the banquet.

Ooh ooh ohh!

Sire, your bride looks|like a gorgeous sparrow.

Silence,|you impudent peasant.

Show respect|to your future mistress.

Yes, master.

Ah! Thank you, my lord.

Quite so, Your Majesty.

When our lady|drinks her wine...

...her eyes will fill|with hellish visions.

The count will|appear as a hideous beast.

Then my magic will compel her|to kill him. Hahaha.

My dear friends|and noble guests.

Thibault, Count of|Malfete and Papincourt...

...I hereby declare this castle|a wedding present.

Hearye!

Your Majesty,|in every way that I am able...

...I will serve|my beautiful lady...

...and do honor to thy kingdom.

Drink of my cup|and you will know my thoughts.

And thou will know mine.

Uhh!

My lord?

Uhh!|Thibault!

My lord!

Ohh!

Ohh!

Aah!

What is it, Thibault?

This is not|the kind of behavior.

What is happening to you,|my son?

Are you crazy? Drunk?

Count Thibault,|this is no way to behave...

...in an English court!

Beasts from Hell!

Ohh! That is my mother!

Thibault, that is my mother!

Demon!

Oh, no!

No! What have I done?

It is not me.|It is witchcraft!

Andre, find me a wizard!

France must pay|for this treachery.

Find me a wizard!

Have pity|on a poor condemned man.

We are here|for the last rites.

My lord!|We have to hurry.

What wizard is this?

He's English, my lord.|But his magic is very good.

Your bloody Earl of Warwick|did this to me.

Indeed he did.

And he'd have me, too,|if he knew that I was here.

I beg you, my sire.|Let him save you.

Can you bring my lady|back from the dead?

I can reanimate her corpse...

...but I don't think|that my lord...

...would like the way|she looks... or smells.

There is another way.

Time is like a mountain.

Riddled with tunnels.

I can open one|of these tunnels for thee...

...and return thee to the moment|before the murder.

If thy will is strong enough.

Don't you think this priest|has had enough time?

Hurry up, Father.

Unlock this door! Now!

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Christian Clavier

Christian Clavier (French pronunciation: ​[kʁis.tjɑ̃.klavje]; born 6 May 1952 in Paris) is a French actor, screenwriter, film producer and film director. He is the brother of French film director Stéphane Clavier. more…

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