Just Buried

You might've taken

the wrong exit.

You really think

I look good?

I told you, you look fine.

I- It's just we haven't

seen him in a very long time,

I want to make

sure I look good.

He's dead, Ollie.

I've only ever

seen deer on TV.

Should pull it

off the road.

I gotta take a leak.

Me? I don't want to

pull it off the...

It might have diseases, Jackie!

Uh, Jackie?

Is he with you?

Um...

Public urination

is illegal.

Do you have any drugs

in the car, sir?

No, no, no.

Uh, it only happens

when I get nervous.

Nosebleeds.

Too much coffee, Officer.

Ah, what brings you

to town, Father?

Funeral.

Rollie Whynacht.

Yeah, he was a good man.

We wouldn't know.

You weren't acquainted?

He was our father.

Well, I'll see you

at the service.

God bless.

Yeah, we'll take

care of that, Sir.

So, do we call her Mom?

Oh, hello!

Hi! I'm Luanne!

Oh god! Your father's told me

so much about you.

Oh my god! Come here,

come here.

Oh, it's OK.

It's OK.

And you, look at you!

Come here.

It's OK now.

It's OK.

Come inside.

Now, I know you haven't

seen Rollie in a long time,

but I figured

you'd want to be here today.

Besides, it saves me

from having to hire a preacher.

Good!

So, what did

Rollie, like, do?

Oh, he owned a funeral home.

Yeah, that's where we're gonna

have the service today.

Mm-hmm!

Rollie bet me

I couldn't draw a high card.

And then I pulled a 9.

And we skipped across the street

and we got married!

It would've been our fifth

wedding anniversary next month.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's OK. It's OK.

I- I think I'm just

gonna go take a drive.

Thank you for having us.

Uh... I'm sorry.

It's OK.

Oliver!

Henry Sanipass,

worked for your Dad.

How'd you know who I am?

Oh, last photo I saw, you

were just a gawky little kid.

Now look at you!

I'm sorry about your Dad.

His heart couldn't take

the cigars no more.

I didn't want it

to be this way.

You and Henry are

probably the only two men

that have ever

really gotten me.

Charlie's just...

And, Dad, he's

never understood me.

Dad doesn't think this

profession is fit for a lady.

It was good enough

for my mother.

I'll take good care

of the home.

Uh, I'm one of Rollie's sons.

That's-that's, uh,

a pretty dress.

It was my mother's.

Your nose is bleeding.

Uh, yeah.

It happens when I get nervous.

I am sure Rollie

would want all of you,

especially those whom

he held closest,

to know that he is now basking

in the glory and light

of Our Lord's everlasting love.

Though my brother Oliver and I

did not know our father well

from the number of faces

gathered in his name here today

we can see

that he was well loved.

Pretty convincing sermon.

Bygones, I guess.

Did you know

my father pretty well?

Yeah, you could say that.

What was he like?

He was generous... funny.

He had pretty good

taste in after-shave.

We have to take him

to the crematorium now.

Oh.

Mr. Whynacht requested that

each of you be here for this.

Well, hi gang.

It's me.

I guess you know that.

Listen...

After my check up this week

the doctor tells me

the next heart attack is going

to do me in for sure,

so I got two choices;

give up smoking

or make out my will.

So, I've been tryin' to figure

out the easiest way

of dividing up all my crap.

And well, you know me,

I always was a gambler.

So folks...

Looky here.

Wait a minute.

Why is your name up there?

Ollie, congrats.

It's all yours.

Sorry, girls.

I'll need you to sign

some papers, Mr. Whynacht.

Congratulations.

Uh, do you have

a handkerchief?

It took Rollie 11 takes

to get it to stop on your name.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes