Just Around The Corner Page #5

Synopsis: In the not to distant future the globe has warmed and the economy has collapsed. James fleet plays his usual buffoon self, and James Bolam plays his usual cantankerous old geezer. In this pilot, where floods keep depositing bodies and the local war Lord (who is a lady) goes round pinching other girls boy friends, tries to get our hero (Fleet) to teach her new "friend" to read. This was a little hit and miss, but with Andy Hamilton at the tiller, and Sanjeev Bhaskar as the neighbour, I have hopes that it will get better.
Production: Virgil Films
 
IMDB:
6.7
Year:
2012
23 min
19 Views


until he got stolen by some...

whorey-faced whore...

Sweetheart...

No, I have a voice

and I am using it!

It's just now is not the right...

She is a barbaric monster!

You said so yourself.

I didn't!

She's not been well.

Syphilis?

No, not syphilis, no...

You, leave now.

Oh, and you don't have lovely eyes.

They're sh*t!

Kia, please...

Piss off, dyke monkey!

Top-up?

I know what you're thinking.

My poor darling Frank

barely cold in his grave,

and she's after hot Dutch cock.

No. I don't think you're after

hot... No, no, not at all, no.

Probably the grief.

Edward, you are perspicacity itself.

It is the grief, and

the grieving comes in many forms...

the binge eating,

the binge drinking,

the sex with fit young blokes.

I think it's going to take a long

time to work through the grieving.

Well, you can't rush grief.

Frank, God rest his soul,

would understand.

Cos through it all

there's a little bit of Frank

that's still here with me.

Well, the spirit of loved ones

does...

No, there's a little bit of Frank

still here with me in my handbag.

It's all they could find, after the

tragic accident with the weasels.

That must be very comforting.

Now, then, Edward, you didn't..

Sideways!

You didn't come to my party.

Incidentally, what Kia was..

It was great - we stoned a poacher.

Well, that sounds...

Cos in your absence, I was unable

to offer you an opportunity.

Opportunity?

In light of your former metier,

I want you to teach me

how to read and write.

You can't read and write?

No, obviously,

cos that's what I just said.

I'm not a moron, Edward,

cos you might have noticed I just

said "perspicacity" and "metier".

And they were very well used.

Hmm, I'm good with words,

I just can't understand the little

f***ers on a piece of paper.

Bish, bash, bosh, here we go.

So, my friend, where's it

hiding now?

Oh, thought it was there too.

Now, a real man isn't

going to stop there, is he?

And if I were to decline

this teaching opportunity,

would anything bad happen?

Who knows? Game of life

can play such cruel tricks.

Well, on reflection,

I'd like to accept your offer

of this arrangement.

Good boy.

Oh, by the way, don't tell anyone

about this, or I'll kill them.

Now is there anything

I can do for you?

No.

Drugs, batteries,

enemies eliminated?

Some nice homemade fudge?

Really, no.

You must want something.

No. No?

No, N-O!

N-O. You see, lesson one,

we've started!

Well, this has been lovely.

Do drop by any time.

Delia, we've just slaughtered

a... lamb.

We wondered

if you'd like the prime cut of rump.

A bit of dead sheep's arse.

Well, thank you!

That's a nice wind turbine.

Yes. Yes, it is.

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Andy Hamilton

Andrew Neil Hamilton (born 28 May 1954) is a British comedian, game show panellist, television director, comedy screenwriter, radio dramatist, and novelist. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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