Joy Ride Page #3

"I'd take off your bra."

Don't park in a handicapped space.

There are spaces all over the place.

Yeah, I know. That's my point.

Dude, I'm going to gimp it.

I'm not just going to run in there.

Sit here. I'll work us a deal, okay?

If one more goddamn maid

knocks on my door, asking about towels....

-I'm sorry, Mr. Ellinghouse.

-Sorry, my ass!

Where's your boss?

I want the real manager. The white one!

The one whose first language

is f***ing English! Understand?

Could I get a room for the night?

You can disturb me. I love towels.

-I'm not done here, friend!

-I know that, amigo.

I haven't slept in two days.

You best not mess with me.

-Just take care of your own sh*t.

-Peace.

Tomorrow morning,

mark my words, a**hole...

...long talk with your manager.

And your brown ass is going.

F***ing punk.

Dick.

Candy Cane.

Candy Cane.

Hello? Candy Cane?

-God! Did you see that fat f***ing guy?

-Listen.

Hello, Candy Cane, are you there?

-You are kidding me.

-Can you believe that?

-Have you talked to him yet?

-No. I haven't said anything.

Anybody out there know Candy Cane?

Come on.

-What?

-Tell him you want to meet, get together.

You want to see him later

at the Lone Star Motel in Table Rock.

Room 17.

-Do you love prison so much?

-We're in Room 18. You saw that prick.

-The giant?

-The prick is in Room 17!

I can't do that.

Come on. That guy sucks!

He body-checked me on the way out.

I know. I saw that.

What? You saw that?

And you're not jumping at this opportunity

to exact some much deserved revenge?

Are you crazy? Come on!

-Do it!

-Calm down.

This is amazing!

Rusty Nail? Hey, there.

Candy Cane? I thought I'd lost you.

Well, I guess fate wouldn't allow that.

I'm glad to know you're thinking about me.

Listen, I'm pulling over for the night.

Would you be interested

in getting together later?

Aren't you meeting Black Sheep?

That was the plan but...

...how about I blow him off

and take a chance with you?

I love you, man. That is so great.

Relax.

But, I'm not sure I'd be what you'd expect.

You are a man, aren't you? With a soul

and a heart? That's all I'd expect.

Great.

Listen, I'll be at the Lone Star Motel

in Table Rock, if you're interested.

Pink champagne.

Tell him that you like pink champagne.

If you could bring some pink champagne,

it's my favorite.

That was good.

What room?

Sweet.

Room 17. Midnight. You got that, baby?

I got it.

I can't wait.

That was mean.

I know, I know.

This is awesome!

That guy sucks. He totally

body-checked me on the way out.

-Do you ever miss home?

-Yeah.

I miss Mom's chocolate chip cookies.

Playing football with Dad on Sundays.

Going to....

Wait, that's somebody else's childhood.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote