Jane Wants a Boyfriend Page #3

and I got to somehow spin this

and make this interesting

or readable.

I don't know. Um, so tonight,

why don't we do this?

I'm gonna make you

a late dinner,

we're gonna

crack open some wine,

and I'm going to hug you

and kiss you,

and we are gonna

celebrate your graduation

from working for tips, okay?

- Yeah.

No, I get it.

I'll talk to you later.

- Semipalmated plover.

- There he is.

Plover, yes.

Beautiful creature.

I guess the point

I'm trying to get at, buddy,

is the teenagers come in here

at night when I'm not here.

They won't let me

stay overnight...

Another story entirely.

-Jane, come on. Open up.

-What?

- I've got your pancakes here,

and you only had like one bite.

-I'm not hungry.

-I'm not going back to him.

-That's silly.

Of course

you're going back to him.

Well,

if you don't go back to him,

you'll spoil everything for us.

You can see that, can't you?

- You smell like smoke.

Mom's gonna say something.

- If I stay married

and keep you on the side...

- I'm sorry I got so frustrated

at the table.

- and when I'm lonely...

- It's just a lot to take in

on the spot.

You know?

- Oh, brother.

-M-mom and dad just...

-shh!

I love this part.

- Is that what you

expected of me?

-Helen, listen.

What's the matter with you?

- Suddenly I've gotten

very cold feet.

- Hey, I'm having a housewarming

party tomorrow night, Jane.

I want you to come.

We can talk about all this scary

moving stuff later, okay?

You'll come, won't you?

We've talked about this, Jane.

You have to get

out of the house more often.

We've talked about it, right?

-Okay, fine.

I'll go.

Just be quiet, please.

I can't listen to you and have

my eyes work at the same time.

-Okay.

-Charlie...

- I need that f***ing squash

in two.

- It's coming.

It's coming.

-Don't you f*** with me, Jos.

- Pick up! Thank you.

- Eta on those lobsters?

Who's working those lobsters?

Somebody better be working

those f***ing lobsters.

- Here's your re-cook...

Medium-rare.

Hope the bastard chokes.

-Yeah, very good, very good.

- I told you I'm gonna

make that happen, right?

Kim the waitress?

Eyebrows?

- Ohh.

- Eyebrows.

- No.

- Yeah.

- Beautiful.

-Jackie boy, how's it hanging?

-Hey, gyp.

Not bad, man.

Was in the weeds.

Now I'm not in the weeds.

-That's great.

Say, Jack, got anything

on the back burner for me?

I'm fresh out of new recipes.

-Sure.

Yeah, gyp,

let me whip something up.

A filet of brook trout with

crushed pistachios and walnuts

drizzled

with a light gray fruit butter.

There's some vegetables

and sh*t in there, too.

- Wow.

You made this for me?

- With my own blood,

sweat, tears,

and a little bit of snot.

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