Jack Goes Boating

Synopsis: Jack is a shy and awkward man who drives a limo and lives an unassuming life. His friend and co-worker, Clyde, and his wife Lucy, feel sorry for Jack and set him up on a blind date with Connie. Connie shares Jack's shyness and awkwardness, but through each other they seem to be able to find solace within themselves. Trouble might be brewing in paradise though, as Clyde and Lucy's marriage stumbles just as Jack and Connie's relationship grows.
Genre: Drama, Romance
Production: Fox Searchlight
  1 win & 7 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
89 min

Have you thought about it?

I think you should.

What does she do there?

She's the assistant to the embalmer.

Oh no.

Something with the fluids.


- Ugh.

- No, man.

Lucy's training her

to sell seminars with Dr. Bob.

She calls the funeral directors-

phone sales.


- What's her name?

- Connie.

So I'll tell Lucy it's on.

That's my uncle.

Don't mention it.


That it's- you know.

- I won't. I won't.

- Because he won't let it rest.

- Not a word.

- That's how he is.

- You two talking about me?

- No.

Only about the money we make you.


From your lips to God's ears.


~ How can we sing King Alpha song... ~

~ In a strange land? ~

~Sing it out loud... ~

Jack, would you

call yourself a Rastaman?

- No.

- You thinking of becoming one?


I just wanted to ask.

You like the song?

Reggae's mainly positive.

Some of the words, you know,

I don't get, so it's hard to commit.

"Over I" is a hard one.

- "Over I"?

- Yeah.

We'll just order something

and hang out.

- Yeah.

- No biggie.

~ And the meditation of our heart ~

~ Be acceptable in Thy sight... ~

- ~ Over I ~

- ~ Sing it out, oh! ~

~We'vegottosing ittogether... ~

~ We've got to shout it together... ~

Hi, I'm Bob Thomas.

My great-grandfather started

as a cabinetmaker and undertaker

in the small town

of Pacerville, Oregon-

Jack's a sweetheart.

My husband's known him a long time.

- Do you like Chinese?

- Yeah, I think.

We'll just order some.


... a tradition for 125 years,

offering a supporting hand

into life's final transition.

Bob Thomas Mortuaries

is a humble partner...

You drive long time?


You married?


I practice my English.

- Sorry.

- That's okay.

Dressing for success.

- That's right?

- Yes, ma'am. Dress for success.

Dress for success.

- Maybe shoes now.

- Yes, ma'am.

~ Stood by ~

~ I stripped the sheets ~

~ And emptied out the sty ~

~ The crowds that light the carnival ~

- ~ Are calling us ~

- ~ Home ~

- ~ Calling us ~

- ~ Home ~

~ Calling us ~

~ Home... ~

Dress for success.

I'm sorry. You know,

to see your dad like that...

after not seeing him for a while.

The coma nurse said

when he gasped for air

his body did it in a reactive mode.


That's... right?

- Yeah.

- "Like a dry pump"-

that's how he put it.

I was glad when he left

and I was alone with my dad.

It's good that he left because-

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I was glad he left.

- Yup.

- He was coming on to me.

The coma nurse?

- Right there?

- Yup.

- Right there in the coma room?

- That's not right.

He let his hand stay on my arm

without saying anything,

until my dad gasped

and then he left the coma room.

And my dad was right there-

in a coma, but still-

- It's not right.

- No, that's- no.

In a coma room

with your dad there...

in a coma, yeah, but still.

I'm fine.

- Just getting your head around that-

- Oh yeah.

My dad would gasp

and twist his body, you know.

I thought, "He wants

to get out of there," you know?

So when I was alone with my dad,

I told him, "It's okay to go.

- You don't have to stick around. "

- Yeah.

And I told him I loved him,

he was a great dad

and he was free to go to heaven.

- Yeah.

- Two days later

he woke up out of the coma.

- Man:

- Oh, that's- oh God.

Just woke up.

- After three months.

- Man:

Yeah. He talked

in a softer voice, you know?

And I thought,

"Oh, well, he's in a zombie state

where you stay around because

there's some unfinished business

you're responsible for"-

like taking care of my mom.

Yeah, your mom. Of course.

He went back to be with her

at Village Care Facility.

Well, that's-

God. It's-

he got up from a coma, went home.

And then he fell down and hit his head

in the hallway and then he died.


It's, uh-

- it's kind of a-

- A miracle.

Coming from a coma and then-

'Cause he wanted

to take care of your mom.

She was blind.

She couldn't walk, really.

She saw things

in the air near the end.

She was blind, but she'd look up

in the air like she was seeing them.

I don't know what.

- Is the bathroom back there?

- Yeah.

She needed to talk about it, I guess.

- Yeah.

- Lucy's gone awhile, right?

- Yeah.

- Probably didn't have Chunky Monkey,

- so she's on a search.

- Yeah.



How many times do you think,

"Hey, they've been gone a long time,"

and then buzz?

You know, they're there.


Man over intercom:

Yo, who is it?

- Yo, me!

- Me, I-never-forget-my-keys me?

No, buzz-me-f***ing-in me.

- What?

- Nothing.


Are you ready

for Chunky Monkey?

Three delis. Where's Connie?

I'm here.

- It'll have to be warmer though.

- Yeah.

- Boating weather.

- Yeah.

Are you sure you don't

want me to drive you?

Uh, no, it's really- it's all right.

This is plenty.




You like Connie?

We got along pretty well outside.


Well, she said she'd like-

- she'd like to go boating.

- Man:

Yeah, rowing in a boat

she said, you know?

To go boating...

you know, sometime when-


So what did you say?

- Maybe when it's warmer.

- You made a date for summer?

Uh, no. I'm not, you know,

that bad to say "Let's do something

six months from now. "

- Lucy:
He knows.

- No, it- it-

it started snowing

and it came up, you know?

The warm weather and summer.

If you're afraid, it's not a good idea.

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Robert Glaudini

Robert Glaudini (who goes by the name Bob Glaudini) is an American actor, playwright, director and teacher. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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