Jack Falls Page #3

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What's with all the f***ing bicycles, huh?

We're the only Brits not wandering around

looking dazed and confused.

- We'll go back soon.

- Do we have to?

Look, just one more thing

and then it's done.

And whilst I'm choking the life

out of Carter with one hand,

- I'll collect your inheritance with the other.

- My inheritance?

Thought that would get your attention.

What inheritance?

Your father stashed away

loads of cash way over the years.

- I don't think he meant for Carter to take it.

- You're gonna rob Carter? Are you mental?

That big bad wolf is sleeping

in your bed and eating your porridge.

He's changed the locks

so you can't get back in any more.

Isn't that Goldilocks?

You know the point I'm trying to make...

And when he refuses,

spits in my face and chucks me out?

You don't know that -

he might let you back in.

I doubt it. I was never any good

at gaining people's trust.

Well, you have mine. Let's get out of here

before you start ordering more waffles.

You're getting fat enough as it is.

- We should've creased them. F***!

- Stop getting agitated.

What are we gonna do if he checks them?

- Hey, how you doing?

- How many?

Oh...

Two.

Live in the UK?

Yeah.

Where have you been?

Amsterdam.

We're on our honeymoon.

This is your vehicle?

- Oh, yeah.

- You drive a European car?

- Certainly do.

- It's a wedding present from my dad.

I prefer left-hand drive.

Congratulations.

Thanks very much.

Shall I turn the music down, guv?

Yeah, would you?

Here's the pictures of your new pub,

Mr. Carter.

Thank you, Hogan. Are you gonna

check out that new place for me?

Yeah.

- Boss?

- Everybody paid?

- Yeah.

- They always do now.

Yeah.

Well, it's been nice talking to you.

I'm sure you've got books

you need to take back to the library.

- I don't read.

- I can't read.

Sorry, that's too subtle.

What I actually meant was f*** off.

What about this?

What do you want me to do with this?

The safe's full. Put it down there,

I'll check it out later.

Pair offucking pricks.

Hello, lover.

Terry, leave us alone, would you?

What the f***'s all this?

- I've been shopping.

- What do you wanna go shopping for?

Clothes. Look at this.

This is beautiful. Half price, it was!

Half price? I've got a f***ing warehouse here

full of no price stuff!

A dozen for the price of none!

Why don't you have a look round here

before you go shopping?

I mean, God knows what you got here -

what's this?

- They're jeans.

- Yeah, but they're full of holes.

- They're designer!

- Designer holes?

I should've been a f***ing designer.

I'm in the wrong job here.

Have a look at this!

Here, put that on!

What is your problem?

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