It Runs in the Family Page #5

- I didn't ask, man.

So, what's your secret, bro?

All this ying-yang stuff

bring the poon-tang?

What's that mean?

You got yourself a lady friend?

- None of your business.

- Pokin' her?

- I'm eleven.

- Who cares, man?

Tell me you've slapped

the old Gromberg lip-lock on her.

Not yet, but I'm gonna.

That's all right, man. Come here.

- How many girls have you macked?

- None.

None?

Now, what's that supposed to be?

It's whatever you think it is.

What does it look like to you?

Like a piece of sh*t.

He's just being provocative.

Now he's an art critic.

What was this place? A paint factory?

- Ink factory, Dad.

- Strange place to raise kids.

4000 square feet, supportive

parents. How bad can it be?

And that's why Asher

is a social misfit.

That's it.

Boys! It's time for the Afikomen!

49 years. I don't know how you do it.

That's not fair.

He's been through a lot this year.

This year isn't any different.

He's still a ballbuster.

Except this year it's more difficult

for him to enunciate his insults.

When are you gonna learn to ignore

the things you don't like about him

and embrace the things you do?

He loves you.

Well, he sure has a funny way

of showing it.

Alex,

he's not going to be around forever.

Found it!

A thousand dollars!

What?

One for me, and one for Asher!

Aren't you the lucky boy!

Thank Granny and Pappy

for being so unbelievably generous.

You're welcome, honey.

Hey, my boy!

I wish you and Alex would stop.

What?

They're waltzing, Mitchell!

Look at that.

Isn't that glorious?

I can't remember

the last time we danced.

We're gonna still see

the end of the game.

I thought this night would never end.

- What?

- Uncle Stephen.

Oh, Jesus.

Enough!

Do you think Asher was stoned?

I don't know. It's hard to tell,

he's always like that.

I don't like what's happening

with him. We're losing him.

Well, he's 21, honey.

I wish he would talk to us.

I wish both of them would talk to us.

I mean, what's with this? What's

going on in that little head of his?

It's not that complicated.

He's asking for a ten-dollar raise

each week with his allowance.

You don't think this is a bit absurd?

Absolutely. It's a highball number.

That's not what I mean.

I mean our son presented us

with a spreadsheet.

It's not about finances.

It's about our son, both of them,

feeling comfortable talking to us.

We're comfortable.

What do you mean?

Talking. To each other.

Well, yeah. Compared to most couples.

Watch where you're going!

- On your right.

- On your left.

I'm so sorry.

Sir, are you... Are you OK, sir?

- Would you like to sit down?

- How can I help?

Would you like a smack in the kisser?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes