It Happened on 5th Avenue


And here. folks. are some

of the most famous homes. shops...

...and hotels in New York City.

Fifth Avenue. the street

where the original 400 built their homes...

...making it the most celebrated...

...richest avenue in the world.

See it for yourself.


The famous homes

of New York's Fifth Avenue.

That magnificent marble dwelling

that we are now approaching... the Guggenhoff Mansion.

He was the copper king.

And there on your right...

...that big brownstone mansion

that's all boarded up...

...that is the townhouse

of the great industrial wizard...

...Michael J. O'Connor.

The second-richest man in the world.

Leaders of society. business and politics

built their homes upon this avenue.

Palatial homes worth millions.

See for yourself the famous homes

of New York's Fifth Avenue.

The wealthiest and most fashionable avenue

in the world's largest city.

To your left is the internationally known

Museum of Science and History.

Look ahead and you will see at 90th street

Andrew Carnegie's fabulous residence.




Well. Sammy. everything looks

just the same as usual.

It's certainly nice

to be back again. ain't it?

Come on. Let's go up and clean up a bit.


- Well. is everything out?

- Yup.

Everything but the tenant in 4G.

He refuses to be evicted.


Did you tell him the place

is being torn down...

...and Michael O'Connor's

putting up an 80-story building?

Yep. I told him.

He said if an 80-story building goes up.

he's going up with it.

The manager's up arguing

with the guy now.

But. Mr. Bullock. you had ample notice.

Please put on your pants

and vacate at once.

I've got rights.

Constitutional rights.

and that's what I'm standing- Sitting on.

Besides Section 40.

Article 27 of the Housing Code... discharged veteran can be evicted.

There's no such regulation.

- There isn't?

- No.

Well. there should be.

I refuse to be evicted. because a wealthy

Croesus named Michael O'Connor...

...wishes to perpetuate his name

with an 80-story steel monument.


Mr. Bullock. I'm terribly sorry-

Oh-ho. So it's you again.

Well. if you came back to apologize.

you can.

Mr. Bullock. don't you realize

this building is being torn down?

Every tenant has vacated but you.

Listen. chum.

I've hunted three months for this foxhole...

...and I'm not leaving this bed.


Will you vacate quietly. or must I-?

Call your Cossacks.

I'll fight it out on this front

if it takes all winter.

All right. boys.

Take him out.


- Come on.

- There you are.

Do your worst.

I captured these handcuffs

from a Japanese MP.

Little did I know

that this souvenir of war...

...would become the instrument

of resisting tyranny.

Go ahead. Let's see you move me now.


I'll fight this outrageous intrusion

of human rights.

I'll sue Michael O'Connor.

He can't get away with this.

Because I'm in bed

is no sign I'm taking this.

Michael O'Connor is an octopus.

A human. ah-ah. octopus slowly

strangling civilization in his tentacles.




Sam. stop that.

Go on up here.

Come on. Up.

Is that your dog?

Yes. I'm terribly sorry.

I suppose my dog and I

are somewhat responsible.

Why don't you keep him on a leash?

Well. he's not afraid I'll run away.

Are you. Sam?


Say. you better go home and change.

- Where do you live?

- Right here.

You're practically standing

in the middle of my living room.

Draw up a chair and sit down.


Careful of those cigar ashes on the rug.

Oh. terrible thing. isn't it?

The housing problem.

I'd settle for an upholstered

steam-heated gutter.

Well. fortunately.

I solved my residential problem years ago.


Say. he likes you.

And when Sam likes a stranger.

that's good enough for me.

I feel somewhat obligated.

Care to be my guest for the night?

No. I don't wanna trouble you.

Thanks. anyway.

Oh. it's no trouble at all.

As it happens. I live alone.

I'd be delighted to have you.

Well. are you sure

it would be all right with Sam?



Do you...? Do you always...?

Only when the house is boarded up.

Only when the house is boarded up.

Yeah. Come on.


"Michael O'Connor. winner Champion...

...Class B Sloop. 1937 Newport Races. "

Michael O'Connor.

Here you are. my boy. Try this.

Well. isn't this just dandy?

The great Michael O'Connor in person.

I've always wanted to see a walking

cash register. Listen. moneybags.

While guys like you are living here

in Oriental splendor...

...guys like me are being thrown

out of $40-a-month apartments.

You so wrapped up in races

you forgot there's a human race?

My boy. much to my regret.

you've forced me to divulge a secret.

I am not Mr. O'Connor.

My name is McKeever.

Aloysius T. McKeever.

You mean. you're not...?

Yeah. but isn't this...?

I mean. don't you-?

Well. let us say

that I'm a guest of Mr. O'Connor.

Oh. I'm sorry. I thought maybe...

- You mean you live here all alone?

- Uh-huh.

Where's O'Connor?

In Virginia.

A place called Bubbling Springs.

Oh. it's quite beautiful there.


"Evicted tenant calls O'Connor octopus. "

Heh. What do you think of that?

Couldn't you have kept

this thing out of the newspapers?

Publicity like this doesn't do me

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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