Intermission Page #2

- Does 'blackguard' come from blackheart?

- Don't know, man. You all right?

You blackguard, Deirdre.

That's all you are. Do you hear me?

Just a dirty f***ing blackguard.

The body compensates, son.

Instead of mobility,

I've increased perception:

Sight and sound, smell, of course.

It's a fair trade, and I wouldn't go back.

Come on. Come on, a sup.

Taste, that's another one.

- Have you ever tasted Guinness?

- Of course.

No you haven't.

You think you have.

Listen, I've gotta go, man.

Sorry and all, but my arm is f***ed.

- All right, boys.

- We're not holding your pint.

Why not?

- Because then we've to listen to you.

- Wise to my ploys, aren't youse?

I thought it was her

who wanted to take the break.

How're you, Seamus?

Two brown sauce sambos.

Slap it on thick, no butter,

two pints of Guinness.

- Right.

- Know what I mean?

No, it was me.

I just thought I'd give her a little test,

you know?

I say to her, "Let's take a break".

She says, "Let's not".

Then I know, see?

- John.

- What?

What kind of fuckhead are you?

- That pisses me all the way off.

- Why?

Could you not appreciate

what you f***ing had?

I'm at a stage, man, I can't even wank.

Two brown sauce sambos.

- You know?

- Cheers, Seamus.

Pulling away like a madman, man.

Two pints.

Half an hour, 45 minutes,

nothing f***ing happens.

Can't get my fantasies clear in my head.

Couple of occasions,

I don't mind telling you...

I wept like a woman,

the f***ing frustration.

So you setting tests for Deirdre, man...

taking for granted

your good f***ing fortune...

that disappoints me big style.

- I'm gonna go home, you mind?

- You're what?

What you said there is right, man.

Hundred per cent.

- You've just sent me into a state of turmoil.

- Wistful, are you?

Among other emotions.

- Need to go home and reflect on my choices.

- You do what you have to do, man.

See you.

Fair play, man.

Right. Throw us on the floor.

Gently.

Lovely.

Come here and I'll tell you. You there!

- So how goes the fight against crime?

- All right.

It's never-f***ing-ending, though.

See what I mean?

Have you not got a sign that says,

'Toilets for patrons' use only'?

I do.

I'll have to enforce that rule.

Give us another 7-UP there, will you?

All right, Lehiff?

Staying out of trouble?

Jesus. Doesn't look like it.

Who did that to you?

Your old one, man.

She poked me in the eye with her cock.

You cheeky little f***, you.

I'm watching you, do you hear me?

And if I find out

that you've been in any way bold...

I'm gonna nab you.

Now don't move.

Stay where you are and take your scolding.

Now, what do I want you to do?

Stay out of trouble.

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