Inspector Clouseau Page #3

- I trust you to the ends of the earth.

Aah.

- Come on.

- Thank you.

- I see you've met Lisa.

- Yes, I have. You sly dog, you.

- She's our au pair. Can I have your coat?

- Yes, of course.

- Drink?

- Small sherry, perhaps.

Lisa, would you get

the inspector a small sherry?

If thats your maid then

your wife must really be something.

Oh! Could this lovely creature

be your famous French friend?

- How could you?

- I haven't. Not in years.

- What are you muttering about?

- Just shop talk.

- May I present my wife?

- What a delightful surprise.

- My wife's a mite Scottish.

- Lovely people.

Robert Burns, cashmere,

the Loch Ness monster.

- What's for dinner, dearie?

- Nothing.

It's the Highland Fair. I am the president

of the Daughters of the Heath and Heather.

- I promised him dinner.

- Don't trouble yourself.

- I'm sure Miss Lisa...

- I do a good omelette.

Och, no! They have gorgeous goodies

at the fair. Come along now.

Come along!

No, no. No, don't!

Put me down on the ground.

Look... Look, I...

Attention, please. It's time

to announce the Grand Door prize.

- The door prize.

- The winning ticket is number 175.

I repeat, 175. Who's the lucky winner?

My ticket... I have it! 175, I have it!

I won the prize!

Oh, come on in! Oh, good gracious me!

Shooting may be an everyday occurrence

to you, but it's left me quite unstrung.

Don't touch my pudding!

I suggest you go to bed.

No, I've got a better idea.

I'll get out of my tweeds, put on something

loose, and you pour me a wee whisky.

- But that girl is going to tell your husband.

- She'll be sound asleep in her bed.

And Weaver will be hours at the morgue,

filling forms et cetera.

I'll be down in two shakes of a donkey's tail.

Don't rush.

- Lisa? Lisa?

- Here I am.

Look what I won. A plum pudding.

You and I could run away and share it.

- Something important has come up.

- I'm coming with you.

No, you must stay here

and distract Mrs. Weaver.

I can't stand Mrs. Weaver!

I've been waiting to be with you.

- So have I.

- Don't be impatient, dear.

- Er... Er...

- I really must go.

Yes.

You bad, wee boy. Where's that drink?

I looked all over for it.

I can't find any whisky anywhere.

What an ingenious place to keep liquor.

Oh, dear. Here we are.

There we are.

That's it.

To us.

Well, time for me

to take my leave, dear lady. I...

I must get my beauty rest.

Ooh, the excitement!

The time has come for...

Your husband! You fool!

You crazy idiot! Get away!

Commissioner Braithwaite

sent me to fetch you.

What took you so long?

It's been a wonderful evening.

- Don't rush.

- My one regret is that I can't stay longer.

There's a sick lady in there.

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