In The Land Of Women Page #4

And I'm writing it.

So I'm sitting there reading these emails...

...and there's some turbulence...

...and I start to have

this massive panic attack.

Like nothing I've ever had.

And I think it's happening...

...because I can not imagine ever feeling

that way about anybody else ever again.

Listen, I have never, in my life,

received anything...

...like the kind of letters you wrote her.

Never written one, either.

And you're lucky. You're lucky in a way...

...that has nothing to do

with this particular girl.

But you already know that.

I must sound so young to you.

Yeah, well, screw you, pal.

Come on. I didn't mean it like that.

I know what you meant.

You know, I pride myself

on being this great listener...

...but whenever I meet somebody new,

I find I'm doing all the talking.

What is that?

Maybe you're not really

such a great listener.

Maybe you're not such a great listener.

No. No, that's not it.

I'm a great listener.

Yeah, but that's the thing.

I hear myself talking about it.

Nelson's career. Lucy's painting.

Like they're my own interests and

my own accomplishments, but they're not.

And I find myself wondering,

"Where am I? What am I?"

Let me ask you this.

Like, what is it exactly you do

with your days?

You see, now, that is just so predictable.

There is the perception that because

I don't have a job or I'm not in school...

...that I'm sitting around doing nothing,

which is ridiculous.

Most days I don't have

five seconds to myself.

I'm driving somebody around or dealing

with the house or making the meals.

Not to mention I'm on, like, 15 boards.

I'm sorry. I didn't think that... .

Yeah, I know you didn't,

but my family does, you know?

I can feel them all just silently judging.

Especially Lucy.

No matter what I do, l-

It's like I'm just disappointing to her.

Well, she's a teenager.

You're her mother.

I mean, it'd be weird

if she didn't feel that way, right?

I don't know. I'm sorry,

I do think about it and so I'm touchy.

But maybe I could be doing more.

God, I just don't wanna

look back on my life...

...and wonder what part of it

belonged to me.

Okay.

- Yeah.

- So--

That was really nice. Thank you.

Yeah, you're welcome. I mean,

it was really great to talk to you.

- Yeah, all right.

- Okay.

- Sh*t.

- What?

- Sh*t.

- What?

I'm a last-word freak.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Okay, well, I'm gonna go inside.

You just shout something to me

as I'm walking away.

- That'd be great.

- Perfect.

- Great.

- Okay.

You're gonna be all right.

I don't know. Do you maybe wanna

do this again? Like tomorrow or... .

Oh, l-- Sorry, I can't tomorrow.

I have an appointment.

Okay. All right.

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