In Search of a Midnight Kiss Page #5
- Just don't do it,
- Well, I don't have any condoms, so...
- I got you covered, I brought some for you,
- Whoa! Jeez, I don't need five,
Actually, I don't need any, I don't like
having 'em on me, It's too predetermined,
(Jacob) It's reality,
It's not predetermined,
(Wilson) Look, look, If it gets to that point,
I can just run out and get some,
(Jacob) Jesus Christ!
You're acting like you're in seventh grade!
We f***, we suck, We're animals,
We're apes,
We stick f***ing pieces of plastic in us
so we can come!
We f***ing stick each other's d*cks
in each other's asses!
F***ing, you don't get upset when they
leave toilet paper next to the toilet seat
because they assume
you have to wipe your ass, do you?
Well, do you or not, man?
Sh*t, no, you don't, man,
Girls aren't gonna carry those things,
Girls don't do that,
They feel guilty,
They feel like sluts if they carry
these things around, So just take 'em,
I'll take two,
Take three, Sometimes you get tired,
and you're gonna need to slip one on,
That's an extra large, I don't know
your size, but it might come in handy,
- I haven't seen a condom in six years,
- Get used to it, man,
These ladies out there, they are insane,
They are trying to hook a man,
We are getting older,
They'll poke holes in condoms,
I'm serious,
Especially the Asian ones, man,
They will f***ing poke holes in condoms
so they get knocked up,
'cause then they get citizenship,
And yellow fever, wear the life jacket,
That's it,
Your nut sack is filled with green cards,
all right?
So just be safe
and, you know, bring your own,
I don't know if she's good-Iooking, She said
she was 300 pounds and into bondage,
All right, man, here, Just take all five,
This is f***ing hilarious,
You gotta promise me you're gonna
come to the party, It's important,
I'll try,
I don't know what's gonna happen in here,
I may be tied to the dominatrix's bedpost,
F***, There's something
very, very special that I'm gonna do,
and it would mean a lot to me
if you were gonna be there,
What? What are you talking about?
Don't say anything, but...
- You're serious?
- Yeah,
I love her, and I just figure,
you know, why not get married?
- Do you have a ring?
- Yeah, Yeah,
My mom just sent it yesterday,
It just came yesterday,
Look at that,
That's the ring of doom,
My father gave that
to every one of his five wives,
and every one of them ended in divorce,
My mom's the only one that kept it,
That ring has so much f***ing hatred
and just anger
and aggression and f***ing frustration
and just divorce all tied into that,
But you know what? I don't care,
My love for Min is so strong
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"In Search of a Midnight Kiss" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/in_search_of_a_midnight_kiss_10726>.
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