In Memoria Di Me (In Memory of Myself) Page #4

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Please be seated.

The Father Master informs me

that you show great ability

in your studies.

In particular, he praised

your writing skills.

As you know, our job here

is to enhance

your individual capacities.

The work of the Lord

is accomplished through our gifts,

the gifts He bestowed on us.

Who are you?

Why have you come here?

Write about the process

you are following,

the reasons for it.

Try to explain it.

Personally, I would be happy

to read something of the sort.

I know it's hard at first.

But try and keep at it,

as you have done so far.

We are certain that

you can do very well in the future.

I am counting on you, Andrea.

Why are you following me?

To be everything in life,

I risked becoming nothing at all.

I'd managed to give up

every responsibility.

It was all the same, I said.

We're just ants.

Ghosts.

Then one evening,

I went out into the street

and made up my mind

not to avoid traffic anymore.

All I had to do to die

was to stand still.

I'm not pretending I was enlightened.

It only lasted a second.

And everything was so present.

In the depths of it,

I didn't feel alone anymore.

I realized that evil

was what I myself was doing,

and that I needed forgiveness.

Perhaps for the first time

in my life, I felt...

I felt loved.

And so I...

And so I came here,

in order not to lose myself.

But the silence

of this church

is empty.

They need truth

to be dead.

They need truth to be...

dead.

Why are you here?

I'm here for myself.

Because the world won't change,

if I don't change first.

We aren't changing the world.

We're only copying it.

And why are you still here?

Because I'm afraid.

Who's in the infirmary?

Come in.

I hope I'm not disturbing you.

Last night I overheard something

that I think I should tell you.

What were you and Zanna

talking about last night?

Well? Answer me !

He has some doubts.

He is asking himself questions.

What do you mean,

asking himself questions?

Well?

Explain to your brothers

what sort of questions he has.

He feels he is dying in here.

Here we prepare you

to become men of God.

To be ready to serve Him

whenever needed.

You should be ready

to cross continents,

overcome diffidence and opposition,

face wars

and even martyrdom.

And you must always be prepared

to carry out

the orders of your Superiors.

If you are incapable

of accepting this servitude,

you are free to return to the world.

The doors remain open

for those who wish to leave.

The novitiate is when

the novice tests the Order,

and the Order tests the novice.

Do not forget this.

Not all of you will see it through.

"If your brother does something wrong,

go and have it out with him alone,

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