In and Out Page #5

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They have no right

to pry into your life.

They're sleazy.

I don't know.

I like that Barbara Walters.

Did Barbara call you?

No.

Howard.

- Howard!

- No!

Oh, Howard.

Leave me alone,

you smut peddler!

You professional gossip!

Will you get real?

Shh!

- Look at me.

- Why?

Sure, I look great, but my ratings.

Everyone wants to talk to

Diane Sawyer or Joan Lunden.

My network's killing

me. They want me blond.

With your coloring?

All those reporters,

after today, they're gone.

They've got their story.

But I care.

I am doing a full week.

A week? You can't.

I have to. It's too good.

No. I have classes to teach.

I'm getting married.

- I'll be there.

- No.

- I'll kill you.

- But it's classic.

Sex, a small town,

and a movie star.

Why can't you see that?

"Howard Brackett: In and out. "

My God.

You are pure television.

Stop it.

Good night.

Guys, remember...

- I got that.

- Thanks.

Don't say nothing about

the Oscars or Cameron Drake.

I think he's coming.

Shh. Shh.

He's here!

Yeah!

Yeah, baby!

Whoa! Are we gonna have

a bachelor party?

Yes!

- We gonna get down and dirty?

- Yes!

Disgustingly drunk?

Yeah!

We've been working

on this for weeks.

We got all your favorite

stuff, everything you love!

Hit me!

Here, Howard.

What are we

talking about, triple X?

Little Oral Annie? Traci Lords?

Lay some adult video on me.

We got it... uncut.

"Funny Girl"!

Yeah!

"Funny Girl"?

Yeah.

I don't believe this.

Barbra Streisand?

You had that film

festival last year.

- We watched all her movies.

- It was fun.

Guys.

Guys, I'm truly offended.

Don't you see

this is precisely the reason...

why Cameron Drake and

half the civilized world...

think that I'm... you know.

No!

Oh, no!

You're a guy's guy!

No, no.

I don't know

how this started...

but this is my goddamn

bachelor party...

and I am not going

to goddamn watch...

pardon my split infinitive...

"Funny Girl"!

- Me, neither. I hate that.

- Thank you.

- You got "A Star is Born"?

- Oh, sure.

"A Star is Born"?

She looks bad in it.

- "Yentl. "

- "Yentl!"

I'd watch it again.

I love "Yentl"!

Yeah! "Papa, can you hear me?"

Produced and directed.

Dudes, hombres, guys!

Guys, I'm sorry.

I am truly offended.

I thought I knew you guys.

I thought you were studs.

I guess I thought wrong.

I'm out of here.

Howard.

Maybe he's right.

"Yentl" sucks.

Ooh. Uh-oh.

What did you say?

It sucks. It's boring.

Say that again.

She was too old for "Yentl"!

I guess you heard...

Michael Jackson getting married.

He's made the perfect choice...

Howard Brackett.

Yes, Howard Brackett.

Peter Malloy with day two...

of "Howard Brackett:

Will there be a wedding?"

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