I Served the King of England Page #3

at the request of my guardian angel:

Van Berkel's sales representative,

Mr. Walden.

The hotel was like in a fairy tale.

It reminded me of sleeping Beauty.

I couldn't really imagine

how I'd ended up here,

or who it was built for, or if

it was possible to live like this.

The hotel was set up

like an orchestrion:

Someone would suddenly put a coin

in it and it would begin to play.

- Need a railcar of Hungarian hogs?

- Lord!

- How about two?

- What are you feeding me?

- A whole trainload?

- Yuck!

Okay, then.

I determined to save up

so that chambermaid would be mine.

I never saw happier men

than those rich industrialists.

Like all rich people they were

as playful and merry as puppies.

We have winter pleasures

in the middle of summer.

Here, I discovered

that those who said

"work is ennobling" were

the same men who drank all night

and ate with lovely young ladies

seated at their knees.

I've come up in the world.

Stop! I like looking at it.

- A pound of salami to finish up?

- No, leave that for the poor.

I used to think

rich people were cursed,

and that only garrets, sour soup

and potatoes can bring people joy.

But our guests had invented that

drivel about cottages being cozy.

They didn't care how much they spent,

and they felt just fine.

- Good evening.

- What are you feeding me?

- Is everything alright?

- You scoundrels want me to die.

I guess I neglected my cancer.

My liver is gone

and I no doubt have renal gravel.

Entire streets of apartment houses

are bought and sold at this hotel.

I mustn't overeat.

Even castles have been sold,

and a chateau or two.

I have a crankshaft

factory to sell.

Factories are bought and

sold here, hunting grounds,

agents have negotiated envelope

shipments for all over Europe.

A half-billion-crown loan was

negotiated here for the Balkans.

I wont go under two million.

Excuse me...

two trainloads

of munitions were sold.

And all accompanied by

champagne, oysters and young ladies.

A girl is fancied after seven,

she dazzles as you dine.

Then she promises you heaven

but when will she incline?

A man thinks. Why do I wait?

A promise is forever.

Miss, how about a private date?

The sooner we go the better.

Not just yet, in a while,

after the lights go out

in the bar.

Not just yet, in a while

let's close down another bar.

Not just yet, in a while

when were alone together.

A vow she makes

then kisses takes,

but not yet, in a while.

My bill!

The general deigned to eat,

drink, and break the following:

Three bottles of champagne,

66 crowns;

then he ordered one roast goose;

and two dozen oysters, 39 crowns;

three bottles of 1923 Beaujolais,

two turtle soups, 32 and 20 crowns;

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