I Never Sang for My Father Page #4

Afterwards, smile.

Thanks.

You start feeling guilty,

and then that upsets me,

and pretty soon the whole

thing gives me the willies.

I'm sorry.

What are you feeling so guilty about now?

That you're going to get married

and you're here with me?

I don't know, I just

always feel like I'm using you.

I don't think of it as using.

Back when Carol was dying, when you

first came running up those steps,

I was pretty damned touched

by the whole thing.

You make it sound great.

Somewhere you must hate me.

Bad.

Coming to you like this...

"Hello, are you going to be in?

I want to come over."

Still, when I

get all... I...

So? So, other men

go out on a binge.

You come to me.

Frankly, I like your way better.

It's friendlier.

I... I get so fed up with

being treated like a child,

I mean, like an ungrateful child,

by that senile

old man. I...

I sit there and watch television

with him for hours while he sleeps.

Then, when I'm going, he says,

"We don't ever get to see you."

Why can't your sister do

some of this babysitting?

She's in Chicago and banished away.

I told you.

For marrying a Jew.

I hate him.

I hate hating him.

I hate what it does to me because

when I'm around him,

I... I...

Somehow I shrink.

Well, you'll be going away soon.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And for some damn reason I feel

guilty about leaving them.

Arguing with each other.

He was a big man in that city.

He was the mayor.

He was the president

of the Board of Education.

And a lot else.

Now they don't know he exists.

All his contemporaries are dead.

Who reads the bronze plaques

on school buildings?

A forgotten man in an ungrateful city.

Now I'm going to walk out on him, too.

For some reason or another that

depresses the hell out of me.

It's a lousy world, my friend.

Yeah.

Only you want to set it all right.

Make it like in the story books.

Love eternal, beyond death.

Grandma and Grandpa with the

kiddies gathered around them.

And sex always an

expression of abiding love.

Grow up?

No.

Don't change.

Hello.

What is it, Dad?

Holy Jesus.

I'll be right up there.

Excuse me. Mrs. Garrison's room, please.

Room 507.

Thank you.

I'm her son.

Is Dr. Mayberry around?

No, but he saw her an hour ago.

He seems to think everything is going

just as well as can be expected.

Thank you.

Dad? Dad.

Gene.

Am I glad to see you!

You seen your mother? Yes, I have.

That doesn't sound any better, Dad.

Well, I... I've had a shot.

After your mother got settled here,

I went down to the doctor's

office and had a shot.

I just don't understand it.

I was getting breakfast...

You know, I've been

getting the breakfasts.

When suddenly I heard your

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