I Give It a Year

Synopsis: Newlywed couple Nat and Josh are deliriously happy despite their differences, though friends and family aren't convinced that they can last. With their first anniversary approaching and attractive alternatives in the mix, can they last?
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Dan Mazer
Production: Magnolia Pictures
  1 win & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
5.7
Metacritic:
50
Rotten Tomatoes:
53%
R
Year:
2013
97 min
$5,851,913
Website
1,313 Views


( Never Knew Love Like This Before

by Jessie Ware)

Must you? Just here?

(all)... three, two, one!

Happy New Year!

(all cheering)

(Nat) I do.

(chuckles)

It now gives me

great pleasure to pronounce you...

(whispering) Excuse me.

(coughing)

(continues coughing)

- (guests murmuring)

- You all right?

- (whispering) I'm fine.

- (coughs)

- Something lodged?

- Nothing.

- (hushed) Water.

- What?

A glass of water, please.

- Where's the water?

- I don't know.

(coughing)

(minister) Oh, dear.

- (coughing continues)

- (hushed) He's getting it from the font!

Mmm.

- (coughs)

- (water splattering)

Jesus Christ. Sorry.

- So sorry. Where were we?

- "I now pronounce you."

- I now pronounce you.

- Yeah.

(stammers)

No, thank you.

I now pronounce you... (mouths)

...husband and wife.

( Spring Concerto by Vivaldi)

(minister coughing)

(Hugh) Look at them.

- Aren't they adorable?

- Yes.

I give it a year.

(guests cheering)

(Danny) And for those of you who don't know me,

and especially if we meet in the bar later,

my name is,

"Danny Do-you-want-a-pint?"

(chuckles) "Danny Do-you-want-a-pint?"

Fornication...

I'll read that again.

For an occasion...

like this,

I want to make sure I keep up

the traditions of being a best man.

Apparently I need to get the groom

to the church on time. Tick.

I need to remember the rings. Did that.

And I need to...

have sex with a bridesmaid. Wahey!

I... To be fair, I wrote these, um...

before I knew they...

I would never have sex with a...

Maybe when they're older.

Never say never.

And keep away from Paedo Rog! Ha-ha!

(chuckles) All right, Paedo?

Nice to have you.

He's come a long way. Good lad.

It's great to see so many people turn up

to see Josh finally tie the knot.

And about time, too.

Nat's got it all.

She's brilliantly clever,

apparently really delivers in the bedroom.

Like mother like daughter, eh?

He knows what I'm talking about.

And I don't know about you,

but I feel she could easily be a model,

I think we'll agree,

if it wasn't for her nose.

When I first saw her beaver...

...ing away... Beavering away,

cooking Josh a meal,

I knew she was a real catch.

Um, I've got no idea why

her previous boyfriend cheated on her,

but, uh, I'm glad he did.

Cheers to him, wherever he may be.

Probably shagging.

But, uh, no. Um, seriously, Nat.

You're a real eight out of ten, love.

I mean that sincerely.

And we're delighted you and Josh

have found each other.

So, everyone, please, raise your glasses

as we say a little toast to Nat and Josh.

(all) To Nat and Josh!

(all applauding)

Nat is literally gonna be cringing right now.

She hates being the centre of attention.

It is impossible to imagine anyone

looking more beautiful than you do today, Nat.

And I know how much you love

being the centre of attention.

That's just one of the things

that makes us so different.

Because I'm a thinker, you're a doer.

I'm laissez-faire, you're anal.

Hey, you dirty sod!

On you go.

I think it's fine for a man to wear Crocs,

and you've made it abundantly clear you do not.

(chuckles)

I know it's only been seven months,

and some of you think that we're crazy

for getting married, but...

all I know is, from the first moment I saw you,

I knew that yours was the only face

and the only voice...

- that I would ever need again.

- (all) Aw!

'Cause in that moment, everything just changed.

Everything just seemed to fit so perfectly.

Wahey!

And I'm so lucky that I feel like

I'm only just getting to know you.

Ladies and gentlemen,

here's to us.

(guests cheering)

- Here's to us.

- (guests) Cheers!

(guests cheering)

(guests applauding)

( You Do Something To Me by Paul Weller)

Are you happy?

The happiest.

The best two hours and 36 minutes of my life.

(chuckles)

You know, I had this terrible fear

that you were gonna

do some sort of novelty dance.

(hip hop track plays)

Get it on quickly, get it on quickly.

I'm so sorry, Nat.

I wanna rock right now

(rapping) I'm Josh Moss and I came to get down

You're my girl

My honey, my boo

I was straight trippin' when you said "I do"

All the motherfuckers in the house say "yo"

There's something my nigga's got to know

It's the sh*t to see my dawg get hitched

Now he can make that ho his b*tch

- You can't say those things.

- Don't be a player hater.

Seriously, mate.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

Am I right? Put it there, mate.

- Ready?

- Yeah.

Aw. That's nice.

Listen, son, you know it's not easy, don't you?

- The first year is the worst.

- Okay.

- It's true.

- Thank you.

If you can make it through

the first year of marriage,

- you can make it through anything.

- Yeah.

You know, there were times

when your father was late home

- I used to fantasise he'd been killed.

- Did you?

- Mmm.

- That's nice.

Oh, in my mind, it was always the IRA.

Strange, strange.

But things got better

because we love each other.

Tremendous, tremendous.

(both moaning)

- Shall we go, yeah? This is weird.

- Yes, it's a bit weird.

(moaning continues)

Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.

(Nat) So, that was nine months ago.

(Josh) Mmm.

And I think even then we knew instinctively

something wasn't quite right.

You realised you'd married beneath yourself.

You thought you could be

with someone better-looking,

better body, perhaps a professional man?

- Uh, no.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Dan Mazer

Dan Mazer (born 1971) is a British screenwriter, producer, and comedian. He is best known as the long-time writing and production partner of Sacha Baron Cohen and has worked with him on such characters as Ali G and Borat. Mazer co-wrote and co-produced the films Ali G Indahouse (2002), Borat (2006) and Brüno (2009). Mazer attended The Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' School, where he met Baron Cohen. He went on to read Law at Peterhouse, Cambridge University, and graduated in 1994. He was an active member of Cambridge Footlights while at university and was vice president from 1993 to 1994. His early work includes production roles on The Word, The Big Breakfast and The 11 O'Clock Show. In 2007, he was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay for co-writing the film Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. He shared his nomination with Sacha Baron Cohen, Ant Hines, Peter Baynham, and Todd Phillips. They ended up losing to The Departed. He is currently co-writing Lost for Words with Jamie Curtis. In 2013 he made his feature film directing debut with the British comedy I Give It a Year. He followed it with the 2016 American comedy Dirty Grandpa. more…

All Dan Mazer scripts | Dan Mazer Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "I Give It a Year" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 18 Jun 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/i_give_it_a_year_10481>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    I Give It a Year

    Browse Scripts.com

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.