I Do

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I do believe in fate.

I do believe in family.

I believe in telling the truth...

and that your actions have consequences.

I do believe that you can turn

for one second and miss a lifetime.

That you can connect.

That you should follow your heart.

- Hey. Jack Edwards?

- He's right over here.

Hi, cutie!

Hello, dude. Hi.

I believe in not giving up

on what you think matters

and what's worth fighting for.

I do.

Come on, guys. Seriously, though. What?

What's so important

that you came all the way over

the Brooklyn bridge to see me?

Mya, will you do the honors?

Okay. Jack,

your brother and I...

You're gonna be an Uncle, dude!

Shut up! That's brilliant!

Finally knocked the old girl up.

And to think, I only married

her for the green card.

Wow. Till death do us part.

That's charming, Peter.

And we were thinking

that we might like to name the baby

after mom or dad.

Oh, I like that.

That'd be nice.

Yeah, I think they would have loved it.

This is going to be great!

We're gonna be our own little family.

Is there anything else

I can get you right now?

Uh, no. We're good. Thank you.

She's been checking you

out since we got here.

Yeah, he's handsome.

You should ask him out.

He is handsome, but I'm

not gonna ask him out.

Do you want me to?

- No, I don't want you to.

- No, not for me!

For you!

Ugh. I have to pee again.

It's one of the wonders of being pregnant.

- So, Peter... you're gonna be a dad.

- I know.

It's great.

What?

All of a sudden, there's all this...

pressure.

Like I'm finally conforming

to something that was expected of me.

I mean, don't get me wrong.

I love Mya. I do. But...

Sometimes I wish I were gay.

Wha...?

Well, you guys, you have no

responsibility, no ordained path.

Us straight guys, we got to jump

through all those bloody hoops.

Peter, it's gonna be fine.

You have a beautiful wife.

You'll have an amazing kid.

I'd switch with you in a heartbeat.

What'd I miss?

Nothing. Nothing.

No, we were just...

talking about Jack as the gay uncle.

Gay Uncle here.

- That's the same guy!

- I know.

Yes! Here we are.

Oh, well done.

Oh, hang on a second. What?

I think I've lost my wallet.

He can't find his wallet.

Super. Well, I'll just wait here, shall I?

In the cold and the rain and the wet.

I found it.

Peter!

Peter!

Hey, chicken!

How was school?

We made cupcakes.

You did? Do I get any?

- No?!

- Hi.

Hello. I see you every day

picking up your little girl from school.

- Tara.

- Tara... right.

I just wanted to come introduce myself.

I'm Catherine.

God, she is such a cutie.

She really has your smile.

- Well, it was nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you, too.

- Bye.

- Bye.

See ya!

- Bye!

- Bye!

We're home, mommy!

Hey, Petunia!

Hi.

- How was school?

- Great.

- She made cupcakes.

- Oh, yeah?

But we don't get any.

- How come?

- Because it was someone's birthday.

Hey, Tara, why don't you go and help mommy

and take the school books off the table?

Okay. No, I got it.

Why don't you go wash your

hands for dinner, okay?

Okay.

I got groceries.

Jack, you can't keep doing that.

I'm getting paid tomorrow.

I'll write you a check, okay?

It's fine. Just feed me.

Tara, eat your vegetables.

- They taste yucky.

- I don't care.

You have to eat them.

You know what?

What?

You know what happens when

you don't eat your vegetables?

What?

You don't poo!

Jack!

And you know what?

What?

Do you know what happens

when you don't poo?

What?

You fill up and up and up...

and then you explode!

Now, that's just silly.

It happened to a friend

of mine. It's a true story.

Okay.

I promise...

that if you eat all your vegetables,

you can have as much cake

for dessert as you want!

- You promise?

- I promise.

Brilliant parenting, Jack.

Look, she's eating.

Yeah, you don't have to

deal with the fallout.

Little sugar monster.

I'm done, mommy. See?

Okay.

"And the very next day, the prince

and the princess were married,

and they lived happily ever after. "

Wow! That's brilliant!

- All right. Time for bed.

- Can I read it again?

No, you have to go to bed.

- Can you check for monsters, please?

- Okay.

Nope. Not a sausage.

Now get some sleep.

- See you tomorrow.

- See you tomorrow.

Good night, sweetheart.

Good night, mommy.

8.0. 125.

That's great, guys. Okay,

so, I just want one more.

Okay?

Last looks, everyone.

We'll be moving on to

formal wear after this.

- Here.

- Great.

All right, you got it? Great.

Clear the set, please!

For God's sakes, smile!

This is supposed to be the

happiest day of your life.

That's much better.

Beautiful.

Now you're in love.

All right.

Hey.

Are you coming tonight?

Because if not, I totally understand,

but I would be really upset,

and Christina and I are fighting,

so I'll probably be a total mess.

I'm coming.

Great.

It should be fun.

Sounds like it.

Who knows? Maybe you'll meet a cute boy.

- I'll see you at 8:00.

- Mm.

Come on. What happened to the smile?

All right.

Beautiful.

All right. Beautiful.

Beautiful. Look at each other.

Oh, my God, it's freezing!

Why didn't you wait inside?

'Cause I said I'd wait outside.

So, she dumped me.

No!

And she asked me to move out.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Just... slightly heartbroken.

Come here.

Coat check, alco...

Alcohol, coat check.

Shall we?

Thank you.

Can I have another one?

Thanks.

Aah! Bollocks!

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