
I Can Do Bad All By Myself
(2.36 / 11 votes)Hello.
Hello.
-Hello.
-Hello.
That's what we do at Club Indigo.
The more you drink,
the better I look.
And the more you drink,
the better your date's gonna look.
A couple of you guys
valet parked your cars.
Well, you need to make good friends,
you're gonna need a ride home.
We don't have valet here.
Anybody valet?
You need a ride home.
This is one of the baddest sisters
around. This black gal can sing!
Ladies and gentlemen,
we'll try to show some love.
the one and only, not May, not June...
...but April. Give it up for Miss April!
Damn Joe better sit--
I know ain't nobody
breaking in this house.
Must be somebody new
to the neighborhood...
...they gonna break in my house.
I'm Madea,
and they gonna break in this house?
Oh, hell no.
Oh, see you later, Helmer.
-Joe.
-Now roll the joint up.
Joe.
Mabel, what the hell wrong with you?
You don't be coming--
Wake the hell up.
You about to give me a heart attack.
You too ugly
...in the middle of the night,
I told you that.
You gotta ease that ugly
up on people.
You can't just show it to them
all at once.
Code five, fool. Code five. Hurry up.
-Get out the bed.
-Code five? Hell, go get them, Mabel.
-Hell, you look like armed services.
-Hurry up.
Ain't nothing in here but me.
This is your house.
Wait a minute. My weed down there.
Oh, hell no now.
Is this worth you getting
a cap busted in your ass for?
-What the hell?
-Did they done drop my damn VCR?
What you doing with my--?
Not your TiVo.
Sit your ass down!
Wait, this is from me.
Hold on, Joe. Hell.
Them children.
Clap your hands, girls!
Y'all eating like y'all ain't ate nothing
in days.
I don't know why the hell you feeding
these children.
You feed them, they gonna
keep coming back, just like roaches.
You got one roach,
you gonna have thousands.
to get rid of these children.
You ain't been able
to get rid of what you got.
Scratch and sniff.
Shut your mouth. I was in
a experiment with-- In Tuskegee.
-You want some more sandwich?
-Yeah.
-You say "yes, ma'am" to me.
-Yes, man.
He say "yes, man."
No, son, that ain't--
That ain't no man.
She just look like one.
-You say "yes, ma'am."
-What does that mean?
Don't know what's wrong
Ain't nobody teach you some respect?
"Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am. No, sir"?
-Nobody teach you that?
-No.
Somebody should've. I don't know
what's wrong with parents today.
Hey, slow the hell down, boy.
Wipe your mouth.
What the hell's wrong?
-He crazy?
-No.
What's wrong with him?
-He's a weirdo.
-Eat your food and shut up.
Girl, eat something.
Get you some butter and jelly.
No, I'm good.
Just wanna make sure they eat.
I'm mad as hell about my VCR.
I'm trying to be nice to you,
but I'm mad as hell about this VCR.
This is my VCR.
I had this VCR back in 1973...
...when Otis Redding came by
and he sat there with me...
...and both of us watched
a movie on this VCR...
...and you just drop it
like it's nothing.
This is a antique, girl.
You know what a antique is?
There one right there.
This is a antique.
-Still gonna call the cops?
-Hell, yeah.
You done broke in somebody's house.
Just because you looking sad...
...you don't think nobody gonna call
the police? I'm calling the po-po.
It's tore up, anyway. I don't see
no reason for you to call the cops.
Don't tell me not to call the cops.
If I wanna call the cops, I'm gonna.
I might not call
if you done learned your lesson.
The lesson is simple.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"I Can Do Bad All By Myself" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 4 Feb. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/i_can_do_bad_all_by_myself_10466>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In