I Can Do Bad All By Myself

Synopsis: When Madea catches sixteen-year-old Jennifer and her two younger brothers looting her home, she decides to take matters into her own hands and delivers the young delinquents to the only relative they have: their aunt April. A heavy-drinking nightclub singer who lives off of Raymond, her married boyfriend, April wants nothing to do with the kids. But her attitude begins to change when Sandino, a handsome Mexican immigrant looking for work, moves into April's basement room. Making amends for his own troubled past, Sandino challenges April to open her heart. And April soon realizes she must make the biggest choice of her life: between her old ways with Raymond and the new possibilities of family, faith ... and even true love.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Tyler Perry
Production: Lionsgate Films
  1 win & 5 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
113 min





That's what we do at Club Indigo.

The more you drink,

the better I look.

And the more you drink,

the better your date's gonna look.

A couple of you guys

valet parked your cars.

Well, you need to make good friends,

you're gonna need a ride home.

We don't have valet here.

Anybody valet?

You need a ride home.

This is one of the baddest sisters

around. This black gal can sing!

Ladies and gentlemen,

we'll try to show some love.

Put those hands together for

the one and only, not May, not June...

...but April. Give it up for Miss April!

Damn Joe better sit--

I know ain't nobody

breaking in this house.

Must be somebody new

to the neighborhood...

...they gonna break in my house.

I'm Madea,

and they gonna break in this house?

Oh, hell no.

Oh, see you later, Helmer.


-Now roll the joint up.


Mabel, what the hell wrong with you?

You don't be coming--

Wake the hell up.

You about to give me a heart attack.

You too ugly

to be waking somebody up...

...in the middle of the night,

I told you that.

You gotta ease that ugly

up on people.

You can't just show it to them

all at once.

Code five, fool. Code five. Hurry up.

-Get out the bed.

-Code five? Hell, go get them, Mabel.

-Hell, you look like armed services.

-Hurry up.

Ain't nothing in here but me.

This is your house.

Wait a minute. My weed down there.

Oh, hell no now.

Is this worth you getting

a cap busted in your ass for?

-What the hell?

-Did they done drop my damn VCR?

What you doing with my--?

Not your TiVo.

Sit your ass down!

Wait, this is from me.

Hold on, Joe. Hell.

Them children.

Clap your hands, girls!

Y'all eating like y'all ain't ate nothing

in days.

I don't know why the hell you feeding

these children.

You feed them, they gonna

keep coming back, just like roaches.

You got one roach,

you gonna have thousands.

You never gonna be able

to get rid of these children.

You ain't been able

to get rid of what you got.

Scratch and sniff.

Shut your mouth. I was in

a experiment with-- In Tuskegee.

-You want some more sandwich?


-You say "yes, ma'am" to me.

-Yes, man.

He say "yes, man."

No, son, that ain't--

That ain't no man.

She just look like one.

-You say "yes, ma'am."

-What does that mean?

Don't know what's wrong

with these children today.

Ain't nobody teach you some respect?

"Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am. No, sir"?

-Nobody teach you that?


Somebody should've. I don't know

what's wrong with parents today.

Hey, slow the hell down, boy.

Wipe your mouth.

What the hell's wrong?

-He crazy?


What's wrong with him?

-He's a weirdo.

-Eat your food and shut up.

Girl, eat something.

Get you some butter and jelly.

No, I'm good.

Just wanna make sure they eat.

I'm mad as hell about my VCR.

I'm trying to be nice to you,

but I'm mad as hell about this VCR.

I ought to shank you.

This is my VCR.

I had this VCR back in 1973...

...when Otis Redding came by

and he sat there with me...

...and both of us watched

a movie on this VCR...

...and you just drop it

like it's nothing.

This is a antique, girl.

You know what a antique is?

There one right there.

This is a antique.

-Still gonna call the cops?

-Hell, yeah.

You done broke in somebody's house.

Just because you looking sad...

...you don't think nobody gonna call

the police? I'm calling the po-po.

It's tore up, anyway. I don't see

no reason for you to call the cops.

Don't tell me not to call the cops.

If I wanna call the cops, I'm gonna.

I might not call

if you done learned your lesson.

The lesson is simple.

You can ask people for stuff.

You ain't gotta be

trying to steal nothing.

I'm feeding you

out of the kindness of my heart.

I'm doing the good Christian thing,

doing what Jesus would've did.

I'm feeding you.

My daughter would be proud...

...feeding the people

that came in here to steal.

All this stuff going on in the world,

I can help y'all if you ask me to help.

Ain't gotta come

breaking in the house.

People are working hard

for what they got...

...and you gonna break up

in somebody's house.

-What's wrong with y'all?

-Hey, Big Bird, calm down.

Making me upset, stealing

and break into somebody's house.

-You hear me, boy?

-Yes, man.

Boy, you're cute.

He said it again.

He said--

You said it again.

Boy, you funny. You is funny.

That ain't no man.

You can't say "yes, man."

But that's what--

Yes, ma'am. Yes, dude.

As in, yes, sir.

As in, yes, dude.

As in, yes, bro.

Where are your people?

-My grandma--

-She's at work.

Is that what you was gonna say?



-They lying.

-You know I can hear you, right?

Let this child talk to me

before I choke you out.

We haven't seen our grandma

in four days.

Four days?

Why? Is she on that stuff?

No, she went to work

like she always do...

...but this time,

she never came back.

Manny, can you just shut up

and eat your food, please?

This child can talk to me

if he want to.

-Where your mom at?

-Dead. My grandma's at work.

-Where's she work at?

-I don't know.

-Y'all ain't got no living relative?

-We got an aunt.

April. April.


-Girl, wake up.

I'm up. I'm here.

Where did everybody go?

Home. It's past closing.

-Did Randy come get me?

-No, I ain't seen no Randy.

Give me one more drink

while I wait.

Girl, you had enough. Get up...

-...and go now.

-lf you love me, give me another drink.

Rate this script:2.4 / 11 votes

Tyler Perry

Tyler Perry (born Emmitt Perry Jr.; September 13, 1969) is an American actor, playwright, and filmmaker. In 2011, Forbes listed him as the highest paid man in entertainment, earning $130 million USD between May 2010 and 2011.Perry created and performs the Madea character, a tough elderly black woman. Perry's films vary in style from orthodox filmmaking techniques to filmed productions of live stage plays. Perry is estimated to have earned around US$75 million by 2008. Many of Perry's stage-play films have been subsequently adapted as films. Perry wrote and produced many stage plays during the 1990s and early 2000s. Perry has developed several television series, most notably Tyler Perry's House of Payne, which ran for eight seasons on TBS from June 21, 2006, to August 10, 2012. On October 2, 2012, Perry struck an exclusive multi-year partnership with Oprah Winfrey and her Oprah Winfrey Network. The partnership was largely for the sake of bringing scripted television to the OWN, based on Perry's previous success in this area. Perry has created multiple scripted series for the network, The Haves and the Have Nots being its most successful. The Haves and the Have Nots has given OWN its highest ratings to date as of 2014, with the series also referred to as "one of OWN's biggest success stories with its weekly dose of soapy fun, filled with the typical betrayals, affairs, and manipulations." more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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