I Am Page #4

---

She's smart and beautiful

and read by 16 million voters.

Oh, no. No, no.

You haven't gone on a date

since I started here.

What constitutes a date?

She'll be here at 3 p.m. Today.

You're fired.

[MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY ON RADIO]

How cute is this?

It has leggings.

Ruched leggings. Heh, heh, heh.

So you're gonna go off

and do your very first interview...

...and you're not even gonna tell me

who it is?

Just some prosecutor

that wants to be DA.

- Not Aaron Rossdale.

- Yeah.

He's like the Attila the Hun of lawyers.

That guy would get Santa Claus

Oh, come on. He's not that bad.

- Is he?

- Did you even do any research on this guy?

He has a 98 percent conviction rate.

The highest of any other prosecutor

in the history of L.A. County.

And since he's joined the DA's office...

...the crime rate has decreased

by 40 percent...

...with the murder rate being

three times lower than before he arrived.

[ELAINE LAUGHING]

Yeah, well, the fun rate

has dropped to zero.

Well, there's two sides to every story.

Look, all you really need to know...

...is that his daddy ran for governor

about 10 years ago and lost.

Ever since then,

he and mommy dearest...

...have been trying to get junior

into the seat daddy couldn't win.

Plus he's cute.

What?

Alice, we've been down

this road before, sister.

Okay, that was kind of out of line.

I am a professional.

God help you.

What?

Your critics say you're too aggressive

in your prosecutions.

Oh, boy, here we go.

In fact, criminals you've convicted

average 25 percent more jail time...

...than other criminals

convicted of similar charges.

How do you respond to that?

Well, it depends on your perspective.

Is it with the criminal

or is it with the victim?

I'm with the victim.

You asked for and achieved life in prison

for Victor Ramirez...

...for stealing $150.

Mr. Ramirez did steal $150.

He also beat and tortured 80-year-old

Alfonso and Maria Blanco...

...in their own home.

You see,

we as a society have to make a choice.

Are we gonna tolerate this kind of garbage

or are we gonna send a message?

Victor Ramirez got that message.

And the people of Los Angeles

are better off for it.

What about Mrs. Ramirez

and their children?

Mr. Ramirez made a choice.

His children will have to do the same.

One bad choice? No second chances?

Depends on the choice.

- You like her.

- Yeah, sit down.

Get a dozen roses to that address...

...before she gets there. I'll take you and

Roger to dinner anywhere you wanna go.

Oh, you really like her.

Just get the flowers.

ELAINE:

A dozen roses?

Welcome to politics.

ALICE:

Oh, I think he's sweet.

- So is arsenic.

- Oh.

- Hi, baby.

Rate this script:3.0 / 2 votes