Hurricane Bianca: From Russia with Hate Page #3

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activists are mad

because in Russia

they can throw anyone

they even suspect of being gay

in jail without a trial.

Well, you know me.

- I don't hate the homosexuals.

- No.

Even after Roger burned my neck

with a curling iron last week -

and I still think

it was on purpose.

But, you know, you could

still be fired here

just for bein' gay.

But that doesn't mean

you have to be mad about it

and start waving your hands

in the air with a hot iron.

You should be grateful

for what you have.

Exactly.

Just because it's legal

to discriminate against anyone

at a bakery anytime, anywhere,

at least we're not

throwin' you in prison.

Right.

You think Texas is bad,

you should try to go

to Saudi Arabia, Roger!

It's worse than Russia.

They throw homosexuals

off buildings there.

My God, that is not fun

and it's very humid.

Nice dress, Deborah.

When Rent-A-Center

took your recliner,

I see they left you

with the fabric.

[maniacal laughter]

[grunting]

[screaming]

[maniacal laughter]

Maybe those terrorist Arabs

are onto something.

Ah, great.

Another episode of

"Little House on the Dreary."

Where does Ma Ingalls

keep her moonshine?

The alcohol's above the sink

in the kitchen.

Anything under the sink

is poison.

So help yourself to

whatever you want down there.

I cannot believe that you

brought Rex in effect here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, I thought he needed

a change of scenery,

and he's not the only one.

Seriously.

Here you are.

You're still

at that same school,

still in this same

old raggedy-ass house.

Uh, girl, I moved.

Still in a new raggedy house,

still with those glasses.

And I know damn well that

Lasik has made it to Texas.

Baby, you know they'll take

any excuse they can

to shoot someone

in the face around here.

I am so glad that you drove

all the way from Fire Island

in a rented car

to criticize my life.

Me, too, sis.

Great catchin' up.

Okay, listen.

I'm fine here.

- Did ya get the raise?

- No.

Sleepin' with the hot coach?

- No!

- Then how is any of this fine?

And I'm not even talkin' about

those hideous-ass curtains.

- Ah...

- Listen.

Bianca made you sort of famous.

Well, gay famous,

which is like straight famous

except you don't make

as much money.

And in America, the only reason

to be famous is to -

say it with me now -

get laid and get paid.

Yeah. I read your shirt.

I made that shirt...

and this.

I make things.

I'm a maker...

the fresh maker.

Weeee!

[Rex gurgles]

Yeah... Uh, listen.

You need more Bianca

in your life.

No! Bianca is upstairs

in the closet where she belongs.

Nobody wants to see

anymore Bianca,

much less Bianca

teaching Chemistry.

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