Hunting Elephants

Stand in line. Faster.

Turn left.

Hunting Elephants

Turn right.

Don't touch each other.

He doesn't understand Hebrew,

he's English and he's senile.

Senile?

- Senile.

Senile? Yes, I'm senile.

Oh, old age, the evil monster

that diluted my mind,

where is my youth?

Where is my youth?

He's an actor.

An actor, my ass.

Give it up for the actor!

I'm warning you, Nick.

Shut up,

you're ruining my lineup.

The police screwed up

from the very first lineup.

It was embarrassing.

They were so old

that they had to let them all go

because they had

urgent doctor's appointments.

Inspector Danino,

I recognize two of them

and there was another one,

a 12-year-old, Jonathan.

Let me go, Eli!

Stop!

Shut up.

Oneg wants 83,

Yuval wants 90, and I...

I want 100.

You were diagnosed with

ADD and dyslexia.

The teacher won't believe

you got 100.

No, no, no...

Not my MP3 player!

I have dyslexia

but at least I don't stutter.

Fill out the test.

Hello, this is Banila

the English teacher's son,

can you call my mother?

It's urgent.

Can you get her, please?

It's urgent.

Yuval, 40.

40?

Oneg, 36.

Eli, 18.

18?

You misspelled your own name.

I deliberately made mistakes,

to screw them.

In my 40 years

in the school system

you're definitely

the smartest student I've met.

But socially

you're completely handicapped.

There's a name for this.

"Stupid genius."

People don't like people

who are too smart.

You're suspended for 3 days.

Out!

He was kicked out of school.

- What?

He copied in English class.

- But you know English.

Leave me alone.

Daniel, slap him.

- Why me? You slap him.

Slapping is a man's job.

I'll hug him afterwards.

Women do everything now,

you slap him and I'll hug him.

You can slap Dad

and I'll hug myself.

Dorit...

Dorit, he isn't...

Bye, guys.

Great.

Nice work today.

Daniel,

that monster better be done

by tomorrow morning.

Give me a few days, Dedi.

Daniel, don't be greedy,

if it isn't working by tomorrow,

you're fired.

Bye, buddy.

Why does that moron

talk to you like that?

Jonathan, be quiet!

What's wrong with you?

Night.

It's dark.

The bank seems deserted.

The robber's sure that nothing

stands between him and the safe.

After robbing banks

all over the world

he can already smell the money.

But then, whoops...

Surprise.

Dad, that's amazing.

- Isn't it?

There's also a secret code,

it's your birth date.

You know what I think?

I think you should go to Eli

and make up with him.

Dad, I'm not talking

to that Neanderthal.

He broke my MP3 player.

I see it still records.

It doesn't work,

it just lights up.

You know he flunked twice?

Son, you have to get along

with people less smarter than you.

You have enough problems

as it is.

I don't...

I don't stutter like I used to.

I'm fine.

You're just trying

to change the subject.

You can't afford to send me

to a school for the gifted.

It's very expensive.

It's not my fault

you're a security guard.

I'm Head of Security.

If you cleaned toilets

you'd say you're Chief of Hygiene.

Are you ashamed of my job?

I put the food on the table.

Checkmate. I win.

You got lucky.

- It isn't a game of luck,

I'm still smarter than you.

If you're so smart,

why are you a loser

who kisses ass for a living?

Don't talk to me that way!

I won't have it.

You won't see the computer

for 6 months, you hear?

Dad, are you okay?

- Yes, yes.

I'm okay, buddy, don't worry...

I'm fine.

I just need some air.

I'm okay.

I'm the best dad in the world.

The best.

Take the car keys,

get me the blue pills

from the glove compartment,

okay?

- Dad.

Even if I'm with my eyes closed

put a pill under my tongue.

But...

Don't be scared, it's okay,

go get the pills, okay?

Go.

Hurry!

Don't close your eyes! - Get the pills!

- Dad, don't close your eyes!

No, no, no.

F***, f***, f***!

No, no, no, no...

No!

Somebody help me!

Help me!

Somebody, please!

Somebody, please!

Got it.

Dad.

Dad, Dad, Dad...

Dad, open your eyes!

Open your eyes, Dad!

Dad, open your eyes!

Dad, please, come closer!

Dad, please come closer!

Dad, open your eyes!

Hey, Dorit.

Dedi can't see you now.

He's in a meeting

with a very important client.

He said he can't stop thinking

about what happened.

We,

all of Daniel's friends,

may he rest in peace,

collected some money for you

for the holiday.

Here.

How am I supposed to feed him?

- Dorit.

How?

You know what my salary is,

you won't pay me

a pension or insurance,

they kicked me out

of the apartment

and you...

Dorit...

- You're giving me charity?

Charity?

Huh?

2,000 shekels?

He died in your bank,

at his job,

doesn't that count for anything?

Dorit, the insurance company

won't pay because he wasn't alone.

His son was with him.

They were playing with the cage.

You have to read the fine print.

The whole document

is fine print!

Dorit...

Classic Dorit behavior.

Classic.

She comes, screams,

throws things, and leaves.

But she touched me.

Women don't understand,

we don't want someone

to suck up to us.

We want a fight,

in life, in bed.

She's not my type.

I like the sluts

with the high heels,

makeup, no hair on their...

silicon, Botox,

the whole nine yards.

Excuse me, Dorit,

do you have a first degree relative?

- Are you a social worker?

Give us our money.

If you have relatives

who'll put up collateral,

even a small amount,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes