How To Rob A Bank Page #3

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to charge us $1.50...

every time we use their

machine for our money.

- And it doesn't stop there. Surcharges...

- Yeah.

- Service charges...

- Yeah.

Late fees, roaming fees...

Nickel and diming us to death.

I mean, "Roaming fees" in addition

to your phone bill on cell phones...

that are meant to roam?

That's why they call

them "mobile phones," right?

And late fees on DVDs that cost more

than it would to just buy the movie!

Crime by any other name.

It is a crime.

A crime of convenience.

We're in a state of

financial emergency!

- Hello?

- This is 911 Emergency.

Hey, it's me, I'm the one who

called just over a half-hour ago.

I'm ok, but I'm still locked

in the bank vault.

Brian DeGepse here.

This is 911 Emergency...

dispatch ready to patch

you through, officer.

Go for DeGepse.

This is Brian DeGepse, commanding

officer, Emergency Response unit...

- who am I speaking with?

- Jason Taylor, sir.

Alright Mr. Taylor, first,

I've been briefed...

but I need to know if

you are still safe and secure.

You could say I'm safe.

Now, outline the situation, please.

I'm safe because I'm IN the safe.

I got the joke. Sir.

I don't want to alarm you in any way,

but this is not a laughing matter...

there's nothing funny...

I'm sorry, did you just say,

"there's nothing funny...

about he sit onion?"

Excuse me?

Don't mess with me Mr. Taylor.

Yes, I can hear you.

Can you... ear... me... ow?

Ear what? Oh, hear you? No.

Can you hear me now?

Look, find the spot with

the best reception...

- Sorry.

- And don't move. Hear me?

I can't...

Look for a good zone.

I'll do that.

- What d'ya got?

- The guy is nobody.

Couple a parking tickets,

a DUI on a scooter...

- and he works at Starbucks.

- Right.

- Can you still hear me?

- Ok, I think I've got a good spot.

Hello? Are you ok?

Do we have any injuries?

I think we may have a fatality if

someone doesn't get his ass off me!

Fine. Fine. Everything's fine!

Nothing to see here.

Move it along.

I swear to God, I'll kill you...

with my hands tied behind

my back if you don't stop right now.

Is your safety compromised,

are you in danger?!

I've been "compromised" alright,

but he's the only one in danger!

Who the hell is that

and what's going on?!

I just had

to subdue the hostage sir.

Hostage? Who in the hell

do you have hostage and why?

She's one of "them"sir and I

didn't mean to take her hostage...

she was in here

when I ran for cover.

So, I forcibly

subdued her into custody...

and that's when the vault door

automatically closed on us.

What a crock.

That's a...

Hey that's...

yu... ear... me now?

I'm not buying that. At all.

- In fact, that was pathetic.

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