How To Deal Page #3

Don't ask.

Listen, M. T. Wasn't giving you

a hard time back there, was she?

'M. T. '?

Mrs. Toussaint and I...

we're on close terms.

You get to know

your guidance counselor really well

when you're clearly

in desperate need of guidance.

See, I've got it

down to a science.

You try the Jedi mind trick.

What's that?

- You never saw Star Wars?

No, I saw it. I guess I just

didn't memorize it like you did.

Well, that's your loss, isn't it?

Because the Jedi mind trick

is when you tell someone what to think,

and they think it.

For example, M. T. Says,

'Macon, you're already in trouble,

and it's the first day of school.

Is this any way

to start the new year? '

Pretend you're me.

Now what do you say?

Okay. I say...

No. I wanna be someone else.

Cute. No. You as me say...

Mrs. T, you're gonna

let this one slide

because it was

an honest mistake,

it's only the first day of school,

and the fire was put out

as quickly as it was started.

You didn't really

start a fire, did you?

The point is that you put

the words into somebody's mouth

and they give them back

like they've come up with the idea.

Like when I ask you

to go out this Friday night,

you're gonna think you're

asking me because you're gonna say,

'I would love to go out with you

'because I know

we'll have a great time together.

In fact, I've been hoping

you'd ask me all week. '

You wanna go out

on a date with me?

See? I told you you'd ask me.

Macon, I think I like you too much

already to actually go out with you.

What kind of logic is that?

It's logical logic.

The quickest way to ruin

a relationship with someone

is to actually try

to have a relationship with them.

Haven't you noticed when

the opposite sex gets together,

eventually someone

ends up getting hurt?

I am, too... boycotting.

You can't boycott

your father's wedding.

It's not even a wedding.

It's... an elopement.

Yeah, except everyone within

his radio frequency is invited.

My God.

He is such a hypocrite.

I cannot believe he wouldn't

tell us about it first.

He didn't give any warning

when you went dinner?

None.

- She was at that dinner?

No.

Okay, yeah.

She was there at the end.

Mom, come on. She wasn't

even supposed to be there.

You know, I don't think I'm gonna

let him walk me down the aisle.

Please stop worrying about me.

I am fine. I'm fine.

In a way, it sets me free.

I feel strangely liberated.

And he is still

your father, after all,

and if he wants to make

a complete and utter fool of himself

by trying in some

pathetically clich fashion

to recapture

his sorry state of manhood,

by hooking up with not even

a very attractive bimbo...

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