
How to Be a Serial Killer
(0.00 / 0 votes)Fantasy is at the center
of what
You and I might have a bad
thought about a person.
A serial killer will take that
same kernel of an immoral
or illegal impulse
and dwell on it.
and from that seed
grows fantasy.
"Normal people
have healthy fantasies."
Meaning that they can
readily differentiate
between the real
and the unreal.
to see it through.
And once he does act
on that initial impulse,
fantasy becomes reality.
Is it hard for you
to get up in the morning?
Has your life lost
a sense of purpose?
Do you feel like giving
up is the only option?
Well, don't despair because
Mike Wilson can help you.
helped millions of people
get their lives back on track.
People just like you.
leaders, professional athletes,
media celebrities
and top corporate executives.
Now it's your turn.
Once suicidally depressed,
Mike turned his life around
when he decided to
become a serial killer.
Since becoming a serial
killer, Mike's achieved
a level of success
and fulfillment
And now he's going to share
his secrets with you in this
amazing life-changing seminar,
"How To Be A Serial Killer."
Mike's simple 10-lesson
program will teach you
everything you need to
know to kill your way
to a better life.
You're going to be better than
Dahmer, you're going to be
better than Bundy,
you're going to be
better than Charles Manson.
You're going to be the killer
everyone's talking about.
If you're not satisfied,
Mike's seminars
come with a 100%
money-back guarantee.
So stop ignoring
the voices in your head,
call the number below
and book your tickets now.
filling up by the second.
But don't just
take it from me,
here's some of the magic you
can expect at the three-day
How To Be A Serial
Killer seminar.
[applause]
I want to show you how
to appreciate your life.
I want to show you how to leap
out of bed every morning
with a smile on your face!
I want to give you the
ammunition that you need
to go out there and fight
for what you believe in.
I want to help you
find your passion.
I want to show you how I've
changed my life because I know
that what I've discovered will
help you change your life.
I want to share my
secrets with you,
because I know that
what I've discovered
will help you find your
own joie de vivre.
and I'm going to show you
the path to that life.
My name is Mike Wilson...
and today I'm going
to teach you
how to be a serial killer.
Stop ignoring the voices
in your head
and call the number below.
Operators are standing by.
Hello?
[bell rings]
Hi, uh...can I help
you find something?
You guys are 0 for 3
on my girlfriend's list.
Um, yeah, sometimes our
videos are just a little bit
hard to find here 'cause
our classification system
is a little bit weird.
Along Came Polly,
The Breakup, Hitch.
Where would you look
for those movies?
Comedy.
[bell rings]
Genius.
I, I can type them into
the computer, and then,
'cause like sometimes
people misfile the boxes,
and then they
get kind of lost.
Yes, honey...
I'm still at the store.
Yeah, well, I'm moving
as fast as I can.
No.
Well, well sometimes it
takes a fucking village
to find a video.
What can I say?
Bitch.
What I'm doing is
I'm typing in your titles,
and then if they're in the back
I'll be able to bring them...
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"How to Be a Serial Killer" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 14 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/how_to_be_a_serial_killer_10298>.