How to Be a Latin Lover

Synopsis: Finding himself dumped after 25 years of marriage, a man who made a career of seducing rich older women must move in with his estranged sister, where he begins to learn the value of family.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Ken Marino
Production: Pantelion Films
  2 wins & 2 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
115 min

- Give it to me!

- No.

Maximo! Sara!

Your father is here.




I'm okay...

This is a nightmare.

I know it's horrible living here,

but we're still a family.

I don't need a family.

What I need is somewhere to live

that isn't an old wreck.

When I grow up,

I'm going to be an architect,

so I can build a big house for us.

What are you going to do?

- I'm going to sleep.

- No.

What are you going

to do for work?

I'm going to be rich,

so I don't have to work.

But Papa always said that you get

what you work for,

not what you wish for.

And look what happened to him!

- It's time to sleep, children.

- [both] We're already asleep.


This is who I'm going to be.


He didn't get that rich

without having a job.


I don't want his job.

I want hers.

Talk to me, Rafa.

What's on the menu?

Take a look at lounge chair

number three.

There's a hot one

over there... super rich!

I see her, I see her.

She does look it!

Who is she?

Peggy Von Strauss.

Fifty-five, divorced...

- but she's loaded.

- Yeah?

Her family owns the biggest

supermarket chain in the United States.

She's perfect.

Have I ever told you that you

remind me of Mr. Rojas?

He was my Spanish professor in college,

with whom I had a passionate affair?

Yes, I think you

mentioned it once or twice...

or every time I see you.

I can't believe this.

After I gave her my best years,

after I gave her my youth,

after I gave her the best of me!

Of course, now that my boobs

have sagged,

she finds someone younger than me.

I'm leaving. I'm leaving!

Look, once I cross this threshold,

I'm never coming back!

I'm not! Okay.

I'm not coming back!

It's over!

It's over forever!

But she's going to miss me.

She'll miss my seeds.

Come harvest time,

she'll miss my seeds.

It's me, your brother.

Open the door, will you?


ls this for real?

You show up today,

as if it were nothing?

After you didn't even bother

coming to see our dying mother,

when that avocado tree

fell on her.

You didn't come to see

my child when he was born.

What made you think I'd have

any desire to see you?

You can't just show up like this.

I'm not opening the door for you!

I'm not--

Hey, Sara! Sarita!

- I can't believe this.

- Me neither!

You're happy to see me, right?


What are you doing here?

Nothing! I wanted to see you

and my niece.

- Nephew!

- That! Niece, no? Nephew?

Niece? What did I say?



That's it, nephew.

Tell me what you want

and then beat it!

Peggy kicked me out.

She took everything.


But wasn't everything hers

to begin with?

Okay, fine.

She kept everything.

She even kept the car I picked out

for her to buy for me

to give to her for our anniversary.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I know you're angry with me,

but... can I stay with you?

Here? Here in my house?

Yes. I have nowhere else to stay.

Really? You have honestly

lost your mind!

You're my sister!

- Oh, I'm your sister now?

- You've always been my sister!

- Oh, come on, Maximo!

- What?

I can't believe what comes

out of your mouth!

Don't be like this.

Take that!

One day and that's it.

- Come in.

- Really?

Grab your things! What, you

think I'll carry them?

This isn't a hotel!

- Hey, your apartment is nice.

- Thanks.

Like, outside it seemed

a little... but it's cool.

What's wrong? I'm armed!

I'm armed!

Shut up!

What? Are you a carpenter

or something?

When you're both the man

and the woman of the house,

you have to be a handyman

and do whatever is necessary.

I just help out when something

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Chris Spain


All Chris Spain scripts | Chris Spain Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018


Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Português (Portuguese)
  • Deutsch (German)
  • العربية (Arabic)
  • Français (French)
  • Русский (Russian)
  • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • 한국어 (Korean)
  • עברית (Hebrew)
  • Український (Ukrainian)
  • اردو (Urdu)
  • Magyar (Hungarian)
  • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italiano (Italian)
  • தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Türkçe (Turkish)
  • తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Čeština (Czech)
  • Polski (Polish)
  • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Românește (Romanian)
  • Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latinum (Latin)
  • Svenska (Swedish)
  • Dansk (Danish)
  • Suomi (Finnish)
  • فارسی (Persian)
  • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English (English)

Discuss this How to Be a Latin Lover script with the community:


Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


"How to Be a Latin Lover" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 2 Jul 2020. <>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

How to Be a Latin Lover

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.