How High

Synopsis: Two guys by the name of Silas and Jamal decided to one day smoke something magical, which eventually helps them to ace their college entrance exam. This eventually lands them in Harvard, where they're surrounded by the world of Ivy Leaguers. Although their new lifestyle is much different from back home, they kept on having fun until their supernatural smoke runs out. Now, they are on their own and they have to rely on each other to survive.
Genre: Comedy, Fantasy
Director(s): Jesse Dylan
Production: Universal Pictures
Rotten Tomatoes:
93 min

^ xSilver ^

# Hits from the bong #

# Hits from the bong

From the bong #

# Hits from the bong

From the bong #

# Hits from the bong

Pick it, pack it

Fire it up #

# Come along

and take a hit from the bong #

# Put the blunt down

just for a second #

# Don't get me wrong

It's not a new method #

# Inhale, exhale #

# Just got an ounce

in the mail #

# I'd like a blunt

or a big fat cone #

# But my double-barrel bong

is gettin me stoned #

# I'm skillin'

There's water inside

Don't spill it #

# Hits from the bong #

# Gonna get high #

# Hits from the bong

Gonna get high #

# Let's smoke that bowl

Hit the bong #

# And then take that finger

off of that hole #

# Plug it, unplug it

Don't strain #

I love you, MaryJane

What the f***

is your problem?

No dishwee-saya.

- Me bumbaclot johnson

no workin, see?

- What?

My raasclot true gashman

and me dick won't stay tick, see?

I think I got somethin'

for that. Hold on.

# Ain't what you want, baby #

Girl, wake your ass up.

# But what you need, baby #

Damn right you ain't sleep.

# Not what you want, baby #

# It's what you need, baby#


Bad Breath.

# Come back with me, baby

Satisfaction guaranteed #

- Limp Dick. Ha!

Got that dough?


Will this make my drill sergeant

stand at attention?

No, but it'll make you

forget your drill sergeant

don't stand at attention.

Blaze two,

get at me in the mornin'.


Yo, Silas, my brother!

Oh, sh*t, Mikey.

Hell, no!

Come on, Silas.

I need somethin'

to help me out.

Yeah-- rehab, mouthwash

and a job application.


I'm startin'

to recognize things.

That'scause you comin' down

off a three-month crack binge.

It's called reality, son.

Later, man.

Wait, Silas!

You've got anything

for a head wound?

Man, ain't nothin' wrong

with your head.

- Aah!

There is now.

F***in' crackhead.

- Now what? Oh, sh*t, Ive!

- What's up, dog?

What's up, nigga?

What's crackin'?

Oh, sh*t. You know.

Hey, you get my message about

goin' to the Jets game?

Yo, I wish I could, dog,

but I got this little shorty

comin' through tonight.

I met her on the Internet--

This girl is bangin'!

Yo, we even exchanged

pictures and everything!

Damn. This look like

your last girlfriend.


And did your picture

have that nasty...

Al B. Sure pubic patch

in it, motherf***er?

This just sprang up.

You know what I think it is?

It's the mark of Buddha.

And your haircut game

is f***ed up.

Girlfriend see that,

she gonna sh*t on you.

This girl is different.

All she cares about

is Kevin Costner movies.

I'm gonna let Kev

do the foreplay, right?


And I figured I could get

somethin' from Garden of Weeden

to make it interesting.

Costner, huh?

Dances with Wolves.


Field of Dreams.

That's a corny motherf***er.

You gonna need some strong sh*t

just to stay awake.

You're feelin' me.

You're feelin' me.

That's a four-hour move

you're makin', motherf***er.

Whoo! What is this?

Huh? Get up.


you shouldn't have.

Man, I didn't.

Get outta here with that sh*t.

Let me just grab a titty.

Hell, no.

She wouldn't even know

it was me.

To hell with that.

Yeah. What you got for me?

Here you go,

right here:
the bomb.

Oh, yeah.

What's this right here?



Stop touchin' stuff!

When you gonna get

funds for this sh*t?

Look right there.

See that right there?

That's a natural

aphrodisiac right there.

Come here.

Let me show you some more sh*t.

Look right there.

You see that?

Cure for blue balls.

This ain't sh*t, all right?

Watch yourself.

Yeah, well,

your sh*t is raggedier

than a motherf***er, okay?

If you took

your head off these ho's

and put it in some books,

you'd have that lab

you always talked about.

Half those books

is filled with bullshit,

the other half lies, all right?

See what I'm sayin'?

I gotta give Pops his medicine.

I'm hungrier

than four dudes.

Hey, I'm hungrier

than five.

Who is you,

and what's you doin'

in my house, Jack?

I work for


Whetheryou're black,

or a honky or in-between,

you'll love Porkchops-O-Chunky.

Man, that's me!

So what's in this stuff?

Nothin' but pork.

Wow! Right on!

Why don'tyou

have a bowl--

There you go, man.

Yo, you scared

to answer your call?


Taste real good

Won't make your bathroom

smell funky, yeah

You got a opportunity

to do somethin' here...

that the drug companies

would never do:

What up? Stay up.

puttin' the power of healin'

in the hands of the common man.

Yeah, whatever.

What you need to do

is concentrate on gettin'

the power of booty...

into the hands

of your common ass,

that's what you need to do.

Don't worry about the Ive.

I got mine comin' tonight.

Hey, Silas.

Damn, you see

the ass on her?

Shut up, boy.

Yo, you just remember

to take them THC's, at least

try to get into college,

workin' in a real lab,

makin' some real money.

Yeah, okay.

Whatever, man.

If you say so, bro.

The world is bigger

than Staten Island, dog.

I'm out.

Holler at me.

I'll try to.

What's up, ladies?

Yo, Si.

If I got hit by a bus tomorrow,

I got your back, dog.

If anything happened to me

while I jumped out a window...

and my hair caught on fire,

I got your back, dog.

If my ex came after me

with a knife and stabbed me,

I got your back!

Man, you talk

too f***in' much.


Yo, Silas!

You better take

those college exams!

Look at Jamal.

He's a good boy, huh?

Good boy, my ass.

Ask her why I had to cancel

my nail appointment...

to go and pick him up

in the precinct last week.

Momma, they lyin'.

They lyin'?

- They found the weed on you,

didn't they?

- It wasn't mine.

Then what is this

that I found in your bedroom?


Ma, it is a lamp.

And this is where

you turn it on now.

Excuse me?


Now, where did I go wrong

with your ass?

You're gonna have to take

that THC test and get

into a four-year college,

or I'm just gonna cut you off

from this family.

Baby, you are the first member

of this family to go to college,

but six years

at a two-year community college

is not what I had in mind.

Tell the truth.

Baby, I got a dream...

that one day I can put

your college diploma...

here under my Jesus,

who's master of this house,

next to your brother's


barber certificate...

and your sister's

weave master degree.

Now don't disappoint me,

you weed smokin',


nasty ass.

Just like your father.


why you always gotta

be talkin' to me like that

in front of company?

- These b*tches ain't nobody.

- Oh!

- Now go warm me up

some Porkchops-O-Chunky.

- Is that all, Momma?

- Wash your nasty ass.

- Is that all, Momma?

I really don't know

what you came here for

You the man.

Round and round we go

Consider your bags

outside the door

What's up, baby?

Oh, hell no!

I didn't know

you had dreads.

And what is that?

Brother just got extensions

put in today. They tight, huh?


Rate this script:2.0 / 1 vote

Dustin Lee Abraham

Dustin Lee Abraham is an American actor, producer and screenwriter. He penned the 2001 cult movie How High for Method Man and Redman. As of 2009, he produces and writes for CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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