House of 1000 Corpses Page #7

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BILL:

Better than pissing... anyway so,

what's your choice?

JERRY:

If we're talking cute... like regular

cute, I'd say Leslie Van Houton, but

cute ain't hot.

BILL:

Yeah, no sh*t.

JERRY:

As far a hot... goes I gotta go

with... Ruth Ann Moorehouse.

BILL:

Oh yeah, I forgot about her. She was

pretty hot.

JERRY:

F*** yeah, she is. I'd join a cult

to get some of that... and the best

part is she didn't try to kill the

President or nothing, so that baggage

ain't hanging around.

BILL:

I thought she tried to murder a

witness for the prosecution.

JERRY:

I'll let it slide, she was only

seventeen.

BILL:

Dude, talk about baggage, that ain't

no carry-on sh*t, that's some heavy

duty Samsonite sh*t.

JERRY:

Yeah, I guess... hot chicks are always

nuts.

BILL:

Hot has got nothing to do with it.

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT

A LONE FIGURE in a cheap skull mask and white robe stands

hidden behind a billboard off to the side of the road. Bill's

car drives past.

BILL:

(yawning)

Hold on, I've heard this before...

but I can't remember the end.

JERRY:

So, the guy goes to Hell and the

devil says, "do you smoke?" The guy

say, "yeah"... the devil say, "great

cause Tuesday is cigar night, sweetest

Cuban cigars you ever had."

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