House Arrest

Synopsis: High-schooler Grover Beindorf and his younger sister Stacy decide that their parents, Janet and Ned, are acting childishly when they decide to divorce after 18 years of marriage, so they lock them up in the basement until they'll sort out their problems. Their schoolfriends also decide to do the same with their parents to solve their respective problems.
Genre: Comedy, Family
Director(s): Harry Winer
Production: HBO Video
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
108 min

Hi. I'm Grover Beindorf.

I'm 14 years old.

I live in Defiance, Ohio,

which is somewhere between

Toledo and Hicksville.

It's a nice town,

but pretty average, I guess.

To tell you the truth,

that's how I was, too,

that is, until last April,

when everything happened.

I'm sorry.

Now, if you're going to blame someone,

you should blame me.

But things just didn't happen

like they were supposed to.

It's like everything snowballed on me.

I'm getting ahead of my story.

Let's start at the beginning,

when Mom and Dad got married.


What did you think?

- It's excellent.

- Except the song.

- Stacy, it's their song.

- I still think it sucks.

Jeez, Groves, your parents

have been married 18 years?

That's got to be some kind of record.

Teddy, Jimmy,

you're going to be late for school.

- Don't think it's gonna work.

- Yeah, it will.

- Hi, Louise.

- Hi, kids.

Hi, Mrs. Finley.

- Will you get dressed?

- You can't make us.

Yeah, you're not our real mom.

- Bull's-eye!

- Awesome!

That's how I know there's a God.


I'm coming!

Would you just get

the bomb squad dressed?

Shut up!

I don't owe you any more alimony!

What are you talking about?

- Louise!

- Coming!

Don't look!



Shut up!

What do you mean, child support?

Why would I owe you child support?

I've got the kids!

- Wife Number two.

- Thanks.

- Come on, Stacy, hurry up!

- Wait up.


Not bad, huh?

- How's it going?

- Okay.

- Coming up on the rear.

- No fair.

- Passing on the right.

- Wait up!

- By a nose!

- No fair, you're cheating!

Come on, Stace!

- Anybody home?

- We're in here.

Here, Fuzzy.

- Morning.

- Morning.

- Where did you go so early?

- To Matt's.

- Did you get our note?

- Yes, thank you.

- You are the note queen.

- Yes, I am, and here's another one.

Today's my Thursday staff meeting.

I'm going to be late.

There's lasagna in the freezer.

- Put it in at 5:00 at 350, no higher.

- At 350, no higher.

Smarty, I'll be home to take it out.

So, why were you at Matt's?

He was just helping us with something.


- Happy anniversary!

- Happy anniversary.

Unwrap it.

It's for both of you. Do it together.

- We call it "The Best of the Beindorfs."

- The best part's when I'm born.

Did I say something wrong?

No, honey, why don't we watch it later,

after work...

Listen, kids,

Daddy and I have something

we need to talk to you about.


Here you go.

It's Mystery Meat Day.

Grover Beindorf just can't get enough.

- Say something, Grove.

- Turn it off, Matt.

Oh, baby, come to Papa.

- Next.

- I'm paying for both.

- You're a quarter short.

- It's all I've got.

Move out of the line,

and put something back.



Come on, let's go.

Go sit with her.

I can't breathe.

Why not?

You just loaned Brooke Figler lunch.

- She's got to be nice to you.

- She doesn't know...

- Man.

- Nasty.

I'm sorry.

Where are you going, Finley?

- Just chill, man.

- What did you say, Barndoor?

I didn't hear you.

I said, "I'm sorry."

Good. Now tell me

that you're a skinny, ugly little wussy.

Go, T.J.

I'm a skinny, ugly little wussy.

No sh*t.

Looks good on you, Beindorf.


Way to go, Beindorf!

You geek!


Remember when Krupp

pulled down your gym shorts?

Or when he flunked sixth grade and said

he was gonna beat up all fifth graders

but he only beat up you?

Or in fourth grade when he smeared

dog crap all over your back

- and called you "Turd Boy"...

- Matt, shut up, okay?

I'm sorry.

My parents are getting separated.


Groves, I'm sorry.

Did they say why?

Not really.

I don't mean to scare you,

but that's usually a bad sign.

It means there's a lot wrong.

- Who's moving out, your mom or dad?

- My dad.

Also bad.

If your mom's moving out,

it's usually just temporary.

Check out his suitcases.

If most of them are packed,

you're really in trouble.

- What do you mean?

- Divorce.

No. They're not getting a divorce.

They said it was only a separation.

Divorce isn't even up for consideration.

Groves, I hate to break it to you,

but that's what they always say.

First it's separation, then it's divorce.

If I were you,

I'd lock them in a closet

until they worked everything out.

But look on the bright side.

From now on, you get twice the gifts

on your birthday and Christmas.

I'm kidding.



How's it going?


Same here.

What can we do about it?

I don't know.

Have you been

down in the basement again?

I think there's mice down there.

Come on.

- Watch your step.

- Stacy, I can't see, honey.

One, two, three!



Oh, my.

Do you like it?

What's all this?

Your anniversary party.

- When did you kids do all this?

- When we got home from school.

What do you think?


Honey, you know the rules about this.

You're not supposed to touch it.

It's only for a very special occasion.

You guys are getting separated.

What could be more special than that?

Good cake.

- Thanks.

- Thanks.

And you've made the basement

look very festive.

We wanted to remind you

of your honeymoon in Hawaii.

There's the lanai you stayed in.

I made it.

And Dad,

we even found your old ukulele.

- My God, where did you find this?

- It was stuck behind the workbench.

- Why don't you play something?

- Yeah.

No, that's probably not a good idea.

Listen, kids,

I'm not sure you understood.

We did.

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Michael Hitchcock

Michael Hitchcock is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, and television producer. Hitchcock is a writer and executive producer on season 3 of the CW television series Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. He also served as a writer and co-executive producer on seasons 1 and 2. In addition, he has played the role of water conspiracy theorist Bert. Hitchcock served as a writer and co-executive producer on seasons 5 and 6 of the FOX television series Glee. Hitchcock served as a writer and supervising producer on season 4, and became a writer and consulting producer for season 3 of the show after previously appearing in a guest role season 1 as rival glee club director Dalton Rumba. Hitchcock reprised this role in the season 4 episode "Makeover", season 5 episode "Love Love Love" and season 6 episode "The Hurt Locker, Part Two". In addition, Hitchcock directed the season 6 episode "Child Star". As an actor, he has appeared in several of Christopher Guest's critically acclaimed movies, including Waiting for Guffman (1996), Best in Show (2000), A Mighty Wind (2003), For Your Consideration (2006), and Mascots (2016). Best in Show earned a Golden Globe nomination for “Best Comedy” and won “Funniest Motion Picture” by the American Comedy Awards and British Comedy Awards. Hitchcock and his co-actors from A Mighty Wind were awarded “Best Ensemble Cast” by Florida Film Critics Circle and were nominated for “Best Ensemble Acting” by the Phoenix Film Critics Society. Other film appearances include Magic Camp (2018), Bridesmaids (2011), Super 8 (2011), Operation: Endgame (2010), Smiley Face, Wild Hogs (2007), Joss Whedon's Serenity (2005), Pretty Persuasion (2005), Heartbreakers (2001), and Happy, Texas (1999). Besides recurring roles on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Glee, Hitchcock has also recurred on The New Normal, United States of Tara, Men of a Certain Age, Party Down, MADtv, and Grosse Pointe. Other roles in television series include People of Earth , Veep , Curb Your Enthusiasm, Nobodies, Idiotsitter, Tom Goes to the Mayor, Up All Night, Entourage, The League, The Glee Project, Pushing Daisies, Arrested Development, Head Case, The Suite Life on Deck, Las Vegas, and Desperate Housewives. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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