Hot Summer Nights Page #3

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until the day he died.

Others had better luck.

Freshman year in high school,

she was dating a senior,

Kirby Wells.

He was the first kid in town

to get a tattoo.

But when he drowned

that summer in Louis Bay,

she didn't bat an eye.

Or so the story goes.

But Kirby Wells

wasn't her only ex

that wound up dead.

By junior year,

she was dating a linebacker

on the Boston College

football team.

And he would drive up

from Chestnut Hill

every weekend just to see her.

- I play football.

- BOY:
But when she dumped him,

he was so heartbroken

that he quit the team.

And then,

when he heard

she had a new boyfriend,

the poor bastard hung himself

by the neck.

(CAR DOOR SHUTS)

It smells

like f***ing sh*t in here.

Can you take me home?

(GIRL SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

Come on, gorgeous.

Enough with the hysterics,

all right?

You're embarrassing yourself.

Suck a f***ing dick, a**hole.

Who's the river rat, huh?

Or you could just stay here.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(LIGHTER CLICKING)

Want one?

What?

Oh, no. No, thanks.

I have asthma.

That blows.

He looked like a real...

He looked like a real a**hole.

(CHUCKLES)

And how would you know that?

He was eating Raisinets.

Food of...

Food of a**holes.

- (RADIO SWITCHES ON)

- (CLASSIC R&B MUSIC PLAYING)

(GIRL LAUGHING)

What?

What are you laughing about?

(CLASSIC R&B MUSIC CONTINUES)

- Wanna hear a joke?

- (SWITCHES RADIO OFF)

Sure.

You're not going to laugh

'cause it's not funny.

Okay.

Okay.

So, this

man walks into a man

with his pet... (STAMMERS)

(CLICKS TONGUE) This, um...

Just gonna start again.

This man walks into a bar

with his pet giraffe.

And the giraffe just

goes to sleep on the floor.

And there's a bartender

in the bar,

and he says, "Hey, hey,

what's that lyin' there?

"Can..." You know...

And the guy says,

"That's not a lion,

"that's a giraffe!"

(CLICKS TONGUE)

That's my joke.

You're dumb.

What's your name?

Uh, Daniel. But people

call me Danny.

Why Danny?

'Cause...

It's cool.

I don't really think

it's cool,

so I'm just

gonna call you Daniel.

- Cool?

- Cool.

Very cool.

(SIGHS)

Hey, what... What's your name?

(CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS)

(PATTING POCKETS)

F***.

(WHEEZING)

(SIGHS)

(CLASSIC R&B MUSIC RESUMES)

You know,

I drove her home last night

in my car.

And, uh...

I just, I can't get her

out of my mind.

Her nails were, like,

painted black

but she chewed 'em down

real low and, uh...

This look she gave me, man...

This f***ing look...

I don't even know her name.

(CHUCKLES)

What would you say

if I told you

I wanted

to start selling weed?

No, don't tell me this is

about f***ing p*ssy.

No, no.

- Nah.

- It's about p*ssy.

- No, no, no.

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