Homecoming Page #3

Fair enough.

Great. To good taste.

To good taste.

Think they're comparing notes?

...like this big.

- Just got to your dick size.

- I've never, ever seen him do a shot.

Stay out of trouble.

All right.

Are you kidding? I can't do this. Don't!

I... I have

to meet Mike's parents later.

Oh, yeah. That's right.

- What?

- No. Nothing. They're great.

Trust me.

Don't do that. What?

It's not like they're overly judgmental

or anything. It's just...

They have this weird

first impression thing.

So just don't let on that you're

completely trashed, and you'll be fine.

Promise.

Come on. Don't get paranoid.

I didn't mean it like that.

It's just, I was Mike's

girlfriend for three years.

I mean, look at me. I'm no angel.

Yeah, but you were like 12.

I'm sorry. Did I just offend you?

You should have seen

the look on your face.

- Hey. Doing OK?

- Yeah.

I like this girl.

I like you too.

Get out of here.

We're trying to talk about you.

OK, all right.

All right. Here we go.

Good night, guys.

Good night. Good night, guys.

Good night, Shel.

- Thanks for being...

- Nice?

See, I'm not that bad.

There's a reason you fell in love

with me in the first place, right?

Good night, Shelby.

I don't even let Mikey drive sober,

no matter how gorgeous he is.

- You guys are walking, right?

- You know it.

All right.

Let's do it.

You ready? Come on. What's wrong?

- Did you forget something?

- I can't meet your mom like this.

- I am totally...

- She's not gonna care. Come on!

I wanna make a good impression,

you know?

Isn't there a hotel or something

that I can stay at?

That way I can just show up

in the morning.

- This is stupid.

- No, not to me, it's not.

I'd feel so much better

if I got some sleep and sobered up.

- Fine, I'll come with you.

- No, no. You can't.

She's probably waiting up on you.

She's excited to see you.

Guys, I'm professionally trained

to handle situations like this.

I can drop you off at the motel,

get you home safely. Crisis averted.

- Perfect. That's perfect.

- All right.

I'll get the bags.

Look at that.

I didn't even have anything.

All right, you got it?

Hi!

We got no rooms left.

Big game tonight.

- No, but your sign says...

- The sign's broken.

We only sell out

one night a year anyways.

- Homecoming?

- Bingo.

OK...

Well... Where's the next closest motel?

There's a Holiday Inn in Maybury.

- Maybury? Well, how far is that?

- About four miles west.

Four miles?

You gotta be kidding me.

What?

- My son!

- Hey, Ma.

- You didn't have to stay up, you know.

- I couldn't sleep.

- Besides, your father's snoring again.

- Oh, boy.

- Hey, I thought you were gonna bring...

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