Home Sweet Hell

Synopsis: Don Champagne seems to have it all: a successful business, a perfect house, perfect kids and a perfect wife. Unfortunately, when his wife, Mona (Katherine Heigl), learns of Don's affair with a pretty new salesgirl (Jordana Brewster), this suburban slice of heaven spirals out of control. Don soon realizes that Mona will stop at nothing, including murder, to maintain their storybook life where "perception is everything".
Director(s): Anthony Burns
Production: Vertical Entertainment
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
98 min


Come on, it's my turn.

- It's my turn.

- I don't care, you've had it forever.

You're not playing fair!

Don't be a sore loser.

If you cannot argue constructively,

what will Mother do?

Destroy our video games.


And the gaming system.

Burn it while we watch.

That's right. Don't forget

what happened to your Legos.

Well, you get me somebody

that's authorized to say yes...

...or I'm gonna find

another finance company.

And that's the truth.

I got a three thousand dollar order.

The numbers look good.

He's already pre-approved,

plus we got everything in stock.



- Hello?

- Come in.

Can I help you?

I'm here about the job posting

on Craigslist.

- Wonderful.

- "Energetic people person...

...who is a well-oiled selling machine...

...that wants to better civilization

through the fine furniture of the world."

I didn't write it. But it is good.

- Don Champagne.

- Dusty.

Hi, Dusty. Welcome to

Champagne Furniture and Rugs.

Thank you.

Would you like to sit down?

- I would love to.

- Great.

So, what kind of jobs do you give? Had.

Yeah, baby! She's the one, boss.

Well, you know...

- I'll review all the applications tonight.

- We need this.

We don't need this.

Come on.

You know my wife has Crohn's.

She cries all day.

And violent bowel movements. It's horrific.

Oh, I'm sorry. But what's your point?

Point? Eye candy!

We need something to look at

during the day.

Something to take our minds

off that suffering.

- You should know better than anybody.

- All right.

Look at that.

All right, well... Okay.

- Hi.

- Hello.

Did you find someone?


What's his name?


Not another Mexican, is it?

You know what Daddy says,

"Hire a Jew."

All they do is make money.

Yes. I know...

No. It's not a Mexican.

Speaking of my parents,

they're gonna swing by here...

...on their roadtrip

for Andrew's birthday party.


You're gonna need to work on the lawn.

What's wrong with the lawn?

Oh, Daddy wouldn't approve

of those hedges.

Well, it's not his lawn.


He did help pay for the house, Don, so I

guess that makes it partially his lawn.

Does he partially own the kids...

...because he pitches in

for their private school?

He just wants what's best for them.

And I don't?

Of course you do.

You're gonna dress like that

and we're gonna review your goals?

Our goals.


We need this retreat in Florida.

A second store in Shady Springs.

And we need to move to

the Wildwood Collection by next Summer.

We're gonna achieve our goals, Don...

...because we have standards

and strategy.

Now, focus!

It's hard to stay focused

when I've got this healthy erection.

We will have sex on the 9th...

...as scheduled.

Until then you can take care of yourself.

What if I just slide it

between your butt cheeks?

No penetration.

We will have sex on the 9th,

as scheduled.

And you need to work out.

You looked a little bloated

in the last commercial.

- Love you.

- More than the moon and the stars?

More than the moon and the stars.

One, two. One, two, One...


Already? That's impressive.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone...

They don't need to finance

and they asked for rush delivery.

So, what do they want?

Just a chocolate La-Z-Boy recliner.

Hey, hey, hey! A sale is a sale.

Better to be lucky than good.

That's a great saying.

There's no luck needed, though.

I was watching you out there.

You're a natural.

Don't pop this inside.

I like it when you watch me.

You do...?

Who am I speaking with?

Dagmarro? That's a nice name.

What is that, Canadian?

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Carlo Allen


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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Home Sweet Hell" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 24 Nov. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/home_sweet_hell_10102>.

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