Holes Page #3

Oh, Lewis won't be returning.

He's still in the hospital.

Stanley, meet Rex, Alan, and Theodore.

Hi.

Yo, my name is X-Ray.

And that's Squid, that's Armpit.

Him, he's Mom.

They all have their little nicknames,

but I prefer to use the names

their parents gave them,

the names society will recognize them by.

Theodore, why don't we

show Stanley his cot?

Go ahead, 'pit.

DR. PENDANSKI:

Welcome to your new home, Stanley.

(STANLEY GROANS)

Barf Bag slept here.

DR. PENDANSKI:

Keep your bed clean.

Hey, I'm Magnet.

That's Zigzag.

Hi.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

What I told you

about leaving that thing right there, man?

And this... is Zero.

Say hello to Stanley, Zero.

Do you want to know

why they call him Zero?

'Cause there's nothing goin' on

in his stupid little head.

Did you tell him about the lizards?

DR. PENDANSKI:

Ricky, let's not scare Stanley.

His name's not Ricky.

It's Zigzag, a'ight?

Stanley, if you have any questions,

just ask Theodore.

Theodore will be your mentor.

-You got that, Theodore?

-Yeah, man. Whatever, dude.

I'm depending on you.

It should be no labor

to be nice to your neighbor.

Hey, Theodore, is there a place

where I can fill my canteen up with water?

-BOY:
I know he smells that.

-Yo, my name is not Theodore.

It's Armpit.

There's a water spigot over there.

Man, 'pit,

what you gotta be so mean for?

ARMPIT:
Man, I ain't mean.

I'm his mentor.

Ain't that what I'm supposed to do?

Thanks, Armpit.

Man, whatever.

MAN:
(ON PA.)

Today's menu - chili, string beans,

refried beans,

garbanzo beans,

green beans,

and banana jell-o.

(LAUGHTER)

Hey, Stanley, come here, boy.

This is where you sit. Sit down.

X-RAY:
Hey, yo, new kid. Hey, yo.

See, you didn't dig today.

So, uh, you wouldn't mind

giving up your bread

to somebody who did, now, would you?

No, you can have it.

So, what'd they get you for?

Stealing a pair of shoes.

(LAUGHTER)

From the store, or were

they still on someone's feet?

No, no, he just killed the dude first.

You just left out

that little detail, right?

They were Clyde Livingston's shoes.

X-RAY:
Sweetfeet? What?

Man, you did not steal

no Clyde Livingston's Sweetfeet shoes.

His world series cleats.

Hold on, hold on. How did you get 'em?

He's, like, the fastest guy

in the majors, right?

The guy hit four triples in one game.

(LAUGHTER)

Clyde Livingston donated his shoes to

this, uh, this... this homeless shelter.

Did they have red X's on 'em?

ALL:
What?

You got Zero to talk.

Hey, yo, what else can you do, Zero?

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