Hit by Lightning

Synopsis: When Ricky Miller, a single, quiet 40-year old aspiring writer and manager of Debbie's (think Denny's) and probably the last person you'd notice in a crowd is 'hit by lightning' and meets the love of his life, the beautiful Danita on E-Happily.com, he is catapulted into a relationship online but it's a lot more than what he bargained for - this includes being asked to kill! Hounded by his best friend Seth who thinks no "10" would even go out with a guy like Ricky unless she had ulterior motives (or needed glasses), Ricky starts to get skeptical himself. Turns out, Danita confesses she's actually married to a handsome affable crime novelist and former Rabbi, Ben Jacobs. Is Danita telling Ricky the truth when she says wants to leave her husband but fears for her life if she does? Will Ricky go through with the plan to kill him so he and Danita can live happily ever after?
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Romance
Director(s): Ricky Blitt
Production: Gravitas Ventures
Rotten Tomatoes:
89 min

All my life, I had been looking

for my prince.

You know, someone deep, someone


who could make me laugh...

Ashley and me talked on the

phone all night and

I totally cracked her up with my

witty jokes and funny noises,

And right from the very first

second our chemistry was like...


And we're both really sensitive.

We have this kind of

artsy-fartsy going, so one day,

we made a painting...

Everything we do together is


F*** you, Dylan and Ashlee.

Jorge, Jorge... we've been over

this before.

You can't smoke in Debby's.

No, man, I think you can.

I'm, I'm the manager here,

I'm fairly well versed in the

rules, c'mon buddy put it out.

Don't you ever bend the rules?


Corporate puppet.

How's your... food?

It's Saturday night, we're gonna

do it.

We are gonna doooooo it!

Getting paid and laid tonight,


Paid and laid.

I, I don't even know what that


It means what we want it to

mean, okay?

It means what we want it to

mean. You dig?

Um, no, I don't... dig.

Ricky what is with you?

Come on, stop being such a


Now grab your cock and put on

some socks,

cause we are gonna do this town

up and do it right, senorrrita!

Paid and laid. We're doing it!

How exactly are we "doing it?"

Uh, well I don't know? Numero uno, hog,

got you out of the house so there's that.

W is a W

I'm back where I work! It's a

lateral move at best.

Alright well look... that's just

round one of the festivities.

You're NOT going to believe

round two.

Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, you're not

going to believe round two.

Please stop repeating things


Soooo... when do you go into


Really, really not in the mood,


When do you go into production?

Next month.

Great. So you go into production

on your motion picture next month?

Is it fully cast yet?

No, no, it is, it is, not fully

cast yet.

We're still uh, we're still looking

for our, our last two actresses.

Wow, well just fantastic, that's

just, that's just super.

That's just deluxe.

Now do they have to be well

known or...?

Do they have to be... Ricky,

Ricky, Ricky?

They have to be well known these


No, no, we're actually looking

for two total newcomers.

This makes me happy as the film's director,

because I like to work with fresh faces, so...

Uh... me too uh, as the

movie's... executive producer...

Hey, man. Ahh, I can't work Saturday.

Can I get a 'double' next week?

Oh sure, no problem.

Ah you know what,

these broken down fillies are just gonna

get in the way of round two anyhow.

Round two, baby. Round two.

Yum, Yum.

Doing it long and doing it


Maybe we should just shoot each


Hey, you seem a bit down man.

What up, hog?

It's Saturday night and I'm with


Not for long, bebe. Not for


So when do you go into


Gary Kless is getting married.

Yeah, me too. Who cares?

Oh what's that, the actresses

don't need to be fresh faces...?

That leaves just you and me.

Just you and me.

We are the only two freaks from

high school to NEVER be married.

Can I asked you a question? How

the hell do you even know that?

I keep track on Facebook and


God, Gary is so lucky, man.

Oh that's weird, I thought you get

your period at the end of the month.

MEN don't get jealous of other

MEN getting married!

Men should be jealous of us.

Oh, I strongly disagree.

Jesus, is why you've been

Captain Negativo all night?

Cause that fat bastard Gary

Kless is getting married?

There was this guy on Dr. Phil who said

that it's as likely for a woman over forty

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Ricky Blitt

Richard Michael "Ricky" Blitt is a Canadian screenwriter, film director, producer, and voice actor. Early in his career, Blitt was a writer on The Parent Hood, The Jeff Foxworthy Show, The Jon Stewart Show, On the Record with Bob Costas, Costas Now, and Brotherly Love. Beginning in 1999, he wrote a number of episodes of the animated television series Family Guy. In 2005, Blitt wrote the screenplay of The Ringer. In 2007, he created and was the producer of The Winner. Blitt also owns the production company "Candy Bar Productions". He voiced Steve Smith in the pilot episode for the animated show American Dad!, but was replaced by Scott Grimes in the actual series. In 2010, he created a TV series, Romantically Challenged, starring Alyssa Milano, which ran from April 19, 2010 to May 17, 2010 on ABC. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Hit by Lightning" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 6 Dec. 2022. <https://www.scripts.com/script/hit_by_lightning_10014>.

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